Happy Halloween

This picture caused some recent controversy:

This is a toy costume.  This has been removed from Amazon, WalMart, and eBay.  It has been deemed to "glorify hatred, violence, racial, sexual, or religious intolerance".

This picture causes no controversy:

This is not a toy costume.  This is real.  This is active training in the glorification of  "hatred, violence, racial, sexual, or religious intolerance".

Or, how about this one?

This is considered acceptable.  Recently posted by Fatah, this is a rerun of a Nazi poster.   Note the additions in Arabic.

But this costume perpetuates racial stereotypes. (actually, looks just like my Uncle).






In my astonishing naivete, I can't conceive how anyone can live with such glaring hypocrisy.


Or is it just me?

Just Another Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Today was just another beautiful day.

It rained a little yesterday - just as we began praying for rain in our daily prayers.  Perfect. So the air is fresh and clean today with most of the lingering dust from summer washed out of it.  Temperatures in the 70's, about 40% humidity.

I slept in a little bit this morning, lingering in bed until around 7:45, unfortunately missing out on my time with my morning learning partner.  The coffee was on.  I admired the new put-it-together-yourself microwave cabinet that I bought and constructed yesterday.  I dovened, had a leisurely breakfast of Cheerios and bananas, and spent the morning learning, until Tova (my daughter) arrived with my grand-daughter Raqueli.

Tova is our Personal Trainer.  She drives from Modi'in every Monday and Wednesday to "train" us.  I worked out while Marietta (my wife) fed Raqueli lunch.  Then I took Raqueli for a walk in the stroller while Marietta took her turn training.  And, most exciting event of the day, I identified for the first time a Pied Wagtail !!  I saw one yesterday at Kfar Etzion where Marietta and I went out to lunch for our 32nd anniversary, but I saw one again today in Efrat and looked it up in my field guide.
A first:

Everything is progressing in a sensible and relaxing manner.  Good weather, beautiful scenery, family, friends.  I learned some Torah with my friend Aryeh in the afternoon.  I walked in thinking I understood something, and left realizing I don't.  Also typical.  We're learning a very difficult sefer (book), so it's to be expected.

After dinner, Marietta and I played Scrabble.  I used up all my letters making the first word of the game - "toadied".  Now it's time to relax with a nice glass of locally produced Gewurztraminer (Gush Etzion Winery 2014).

Nothing really unexpected happened today.

An Arab attempted to run over a Policeman in the Shomron; another stabbed a female soldier in Binyamin; four people were injured in a stone throwing, attempted homicide by automobile attack near Hebron.  And the UN decided that the Tomb of the Patriarchs (Avraham, Yitzchok, and Yaakov), and the Tomb of Rachel, are Muslim shrines. Ho Hum. Nothing unusual in the news.

It's a beautiful life, but it helps to be crazy.

Or is it just me?

Good Heavens !

Why are there two stories of Creation at the beginning of The Beginning (בראשית)?  

I have given this curiosity only glancing attention in the past.  Everyone is familiar with the way the Torah begins - six days of the Creation of Heaven and Earth, and the sequential development of life, culminating in Adam, Eve, and the Sabbath Day.  

Fewer of us get around to looking carefully at Chapter 2, “HaShem made Earth and Heaven”.  In this chapter, there has been no vegetation created, because there is no man as yet to request rain.  Then “a mist” ascends from the Earth to get the soil wet, so HaShem can form the now damp clay into the first Human.

If I were to make a movie from one of these, it would be number two.  I can see the mist rising mysteriously from a grey and treeless desert - no sound, no life, just matter.  What an opportunity for computer graphics and special effects.

While searching for an answer that would satisfy my curiosity, after looking at some of the famous resources - Rashi and others - I resorted to an internet search.  I came up with this article by Yitzchak Etshalom, on torah.org: http://www.torah.org/advanced/mikra/5757/br/dt.58.1.01.html entitled The Story of the Heavens, The Story of the Earth.

The first story tells us of the creation of Heaven and Earth.  The second relates the creation of Earth and Heaven.

Here I quote a few excerpts.  The underlining is mine.

“Version #1: The Story of the World”

“The first version is, indeed, the story of the creation of the heaven and the earth - in other words, it is the story of the creation of the world from the Divine perspective.  It begins with the Heavens, presenting an orderly world structured in an hierarchical manner in which every manner of life has its place….an orderly world created by God in which Man can be His partner, His agent - but not his ‘servant’.”

“Version 2: The Story of Man”

“There is another side of the story - the story of ‘the earth and the heavens’ - the story from the perspective of Man….From the human perspective, everything created serves a human purpose….but Man is not nearly as complete as the ‘detached’ view would have it.  Man is lonely, Man seeks out God as he seeks out meaning in this world of alienation and discord…Immediately the most crucial point in their relationship is realized - God commands Man!” **

(**The commandment being to eat of everything except the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Bad.)

“Man is no longer lonely on one level because he is in relationship with God….however, he is lonely because there is no one with whom to share this new life…the first ‘non-good’ thing is introduced - loneliness.”

“The Torah is not telling us two conflicting versions about creation; rather, we are seeing two sides of the same coin.  The world is, indeed, an orderly place of hierarchical systems, where Man is the ultimate creature; yet, the word is also a place where Man feels alien and distant, seeking out companionship and meaning in his relationships with fellow humans, with a mate, and with God.”

The first version of Creation is from the perspective of the Creator.  First Heaven, then Earth. The second version is from the perspective of the Created.  Focus on Earth, then Heaven.  Of course, to the Creator, the whole of existence makes perfect sense.  But from the view of the Creations, it’s a jumble.  The only comfort is in relationship with the Creator, and with other Creations.  Maybe together this world will eventually make sense.

And who would have thought that the first non-good thing would have been loneliness?

I was discussing this with a good friend of mine (who shall remain nameless since I haven’t asked his permission).  He pointed out that we speak of the Five Books of Moses - Toras Moshe.  In other words, the entire Torah, with the possible exclusion of the first version of Creation, is told from the point of view of Moshe Rabbenu.  He is telling us how he sees it.  It simply never occurred to me that when we say that Moshe gives over the Torah, that the implication is that we are hearing Moshe’s point of view.  The view of Torah and the Jewish People from the perspective of our greatest teacher, here on Earth.

So, I’m wondering if the entire Five Books of Moses - from the second version of Creation on - could possibly be a commentary on the view of creation given first.  God creates the world - but then it is entirely up to us to explain and understand.

I wonder at the fact that, in our loneliness and desire for relationship, we are separated ever further from the Creator by our mistakes in understanding and implementing that relationship.  The very act of creating a mate for Adam is an act of separation.  They err in Eden, and are separated out - distanced from HaShem.  Kayin and Hevel (Cain and Abel), in what appears to be the first religious war in history, vie over who has the best relationship with God.  In so doing, Kayin distances himself even further from God, and from Man.

And so it goes - Noah is separated out in order to restore the proper relationship of Man to God.  That doesn’t work.  Abraham finds his own way to that relationship, but from him must be separated Ishmael.  And from Yitchok must be separated Esav.  Finally, it would appear, that Yitzchak has 12 sons who all have a proper relationship with the Creator.  So then, this entire people is separated out from the rest of humanity.  And the Cohanim, and the Leviim are separated out from the Bnei Yisrael.  It just keeps on going.

This process of smelting and refining seems endless, and possibly futile, since as we speak we still have not gotten it right.

But there is comfort - for me at least - in finally understanding that our lives are given to us in order to seek out a relationship with God, and with other people.  It’s a comfort to know that even the most minute of commandments is there for me to use to get closer to my Creator.  That has to be my intention.  And the mitzvot are there so that my good intentions don’t take me in the opposite direction, as good intentions alone often do.  It just seems, though, that the harder I try, the further away I get.

Or is it just me?

Addendum:

I'd like to elaborate a bit on my final statement about "good intentions" often taking us in the wrong direction, particularly in relation to Adam and Chava.

Whatever the serpent's intentions were, can we really assume that Chava's intention was to challenge God, and become "like God"?   Was it Adam's?

Couldn't we just as easily assume, in light of what I have indicated above, that it was Chava's good, though misguided, intention to get closer to God by becoming more like Him?

She was misguided in rationalizing that she could get closer to God by eating the fruit which she had been forbidden to eat - closer to God through violation of the mitzva than by the keeping of the mitzvah.

Thus, "the mitzvot are there so that my good intentions don't take me in the opposite direction".

Who Will Be the Last Man Standing?

בס׳ד

It has been some time since my last post.  It's not because I haven't had anything to write about.  Quite the opposite.  There has been way TOO much to think about, consider, and try to organize in my head.  Last week, while riding the bus into Yerushalayim, I worked the beginnings of a great essay in my head.  Of course, being too lazy to start writing once I returned home, it has mostly turned to vapor.

I feel like grabbing a large piece of oak tag (anyone reading this who is old enough to remember what that is?) and a thick black magic marker, and scribbling "The End Is Near!".  I want to picket in front of every European capital, and of course, the Osama Obama palace in Washington.  Because if the liberal west does not wake up, the non-liberal Muslims of Europe - and eventually America - will have them living under shari'a law.

I've been trying to understand why this obvious trend is so universally denied.  Does the West have a death wish? And the answer I have arrived at is as follows - no, but yes.

Let me explain.

Europeans hate themselves because they feel guilty for their colonial past.  They feel they must make it up to the colonized.  On top of that, within Europe nationalism has become a bad word.  Centuries of nationalistic war left Europe traumatized.  Bad things have been done, and Europeans wish to set things to rights, and atone for the past.

As Abraham Lincoln might say, "It is altogether fitting and proper" that they do this.

But introspection and atonement do not require suicide.  In an effort to be just, and to respect all cultures, Europeans have decided that they must reject all that was historically valuable and binding in their cultures and religions and replace it with no values at all.  That way they can't possibly impose those values on anyone ever again.

The problem, when such a value vacant culture encounters those who actually believe in something, there's a transference of values to the area of no values - just as in physics high pressure fills a low pressure void.  As long as Europeans of one country become culture neutral in relation to the Europeans of another culture neutral country, this might work out.  But not when, in an effort to repent the past, culture neutral Europe bends over backwards to make the benefits of their societies available to the formerly colonized - who are culture positive.  The result is not something resembling the American "Melting Pot".  The immigrants have no desire to blend in.  They want to change those host nations to reflect their own values.

Some place in The Lord of The Rings someone says, and I paraphrase, "Those who refuse to live by the sword, can still die by the sword." This seems to be Europe's choice.  Yet it is so unnecessary.  It is certainly reasonable and proper to try to make up for past wrongs.  But in order to recognize the worth of another, you also have to recognize your own worth.

Respect for distinctions does not require the elimination of distinctions.  And it has to be a two way street.  Secular Europe somehow expects religious Muslims to become secular Europeans.  They think that just as their own empty churches and Cathedrals are just historical centers of art, Muslim mosques will become just that.  But the Muslims aren't cooperating.  They're not satisfied to live by their values and be left alone, like the Jews wanted (but were rarely allowed) to be.  No.  They want to make the churches into mosques - like it or not.

Hence, shari'a law here, Mulsim only neighborhoods there.  And the Europeans just don't get it.  They refuse to recognize that they have gone way too far.  But that does not mean that hate is a thing of the past.  Like everyone, the thing they hate the most is to be told that not only are they wrong, but they've gone and joined the other side - the side of terror, jihad, oppression, coercion, brutality, and violence.  Back to everything they wanted to escape from.  And that person is Israel.  All the self-hate and self-loathing, and all the inevitable resentment of having to fear those who used to fear them, is turned on the one source of light that has the effrontery to stand and say "NO!".

And please don't accuse me of hating Muslims.  It is Muslims who hate me.  Of course not all Muslims.  But I believe that Brigitte Gabriel is correct.  She says "The peaceful majority are irrelevant".  There are about 1.6 billion Muslims in the world.  It can be argued that only 15% to 25% of those are "Radicals".  But this still means that between 240 million and 400 million are out to get us.  And they set the agenda.  So it's time to "take Politically Correct and throw it into the garbage where it belongs.".

And please don't call me a racist.  It's a stock phrase that can be used to silence anyone and make them run the other way.  No one wants to be called a racist, to the extent that many will deny the obvious truth.  In our time, those who accuse others of racism are usually the real racists. (Check out these two links).

http://www.algemeiner.com/2014/08/25/jewish-student-assaulted-by-palestinian-supporter-at-temple-university/

http://www.algemeiner.com/2014/08/25/anti-israel-activist-ali-abunimah-accused-of-african-hating-after-comparing-president-obama-to-white-supremacist/

Racism has been redefined in such a way that it no longer means anything.  Racism "should" mean the belief that one is superior to another simply by their race, and using that belief to cause injury to the other.  Human beings innately make destinctions based upon race, among other things, including gender, height, weight, attire, etc.  And these distinctions are often important to make.  If I walk through the Damascus gate, I'm nervous.  Does that make me a racist?  No. It means two things; 1) that I know that 15% - 25% at least of the people around me want me dead, and 2) that I'm an idiot for walking through the Damascus gate!  (here are 3 interesting links)

https://bloodytree.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/racism-universal/

https://notes.utk.edu/bio/greenberg.nsf/f83efe294f5c85f585257015006e1949/2fb79b1fd74e2136852572e90077ffa4?OpenDocument

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racism


Every person on earth makes assumptions about people based on their appearance, or speech, or attire, or whatever.  Either everyone is a racist, or we are defining racism incorrectly.

So, when Muslims tell me that the Beit HaMikdash never existed, that there never was a Judea and Samaria, that Jews are dogs and should all be killed, that Judaism is a gutter religion, that Israel is not a Jewish State, that Moses was a Muslim and it was the Muslims who crossed the Red Sea, and then attacks me with fists, feet, rocks, cars, trucks, knives, guns, bombs and missiles - I think I should be given a little slack when I assume that the guy walking toward me dressed like a Muslim is someone to watch out for.

And I don't think Europeans should feel bad about recognizing publicly that there is something to worry about.

The recent murders in France, and the reactions to them, only serve to support my argument.  Radical Muslims murder cartoon journalists who lampooned their Prophet, as well as a French police woman, and Jews doing their grocery shopping.  Not to mention the murder of freedom of expression.  But no no no, it's not because of Islam.  And CNN actually wants us to believe that the murder of Jews in the kosher grocery was not anti-Semitic.  The PM of Israel is asked not to come to a "Unity" march against terrorism.  When he shows up anyway, he's accused of being a pushy Jew.  Fearing for their lives at the hands of rioting Musims, all of Europe - all of the world - is willing to ignore the obvious threat rather than be considered "racist", but it's OK to hate Jews, because the Muslims do.  This is not to say that they didn't already hate Jews, it just gives them the green light if their Muslims are OK with it.

And the United States was conspicuously absent from that act of "Unity".  What a mess.

I believe - I truly believe - that בס׳ד Israel will eventually be the last man standing.  By that I mean that the time will come when Europe and America will be so overwhelmed by a tide of Jihad, that they will call for the help of the only free nation on earth that recognized the threat early on.  There are good people of all faiths in all countries, but their leaders are, with a few exceptions, political hacks.  One exception is Stephen Harper of Canada.  Another is Binyamin Netanyahu of Israel.  Both of these leaders are unafraid to say what needs to be said, while the West remains dumb.  Even the Pope, while decrying the acts of murder, nevertheless blames the victims for being insulting.  (I have to give Vladamir Putin some credit - he has said flat out that anyone who wants shari'a law is welcome to leave Russia to find it.  But then, who would want to live in Russia anyway?).

And Israel בס׳ד will be there to rescue humanity from a new dark age.  That's what we're here for, after all.

Or is it just me?

Cottage Cheese

בס׳ד

Cottage Cheese?

That’s right, cottage cheese.

A news item caught my eye the other day, and it left me incredulous.

There is an organization of Israelis encouraging other Israelis to move to Berlin, of all places.  Why?  Because of the high cost of cottage cheese in Israel!  

The issue of cottage cheese was brought up in Israel about 2 or 3 years back.  It resulted in something of a popular rebellion over the cost of living.  But it started with cottage cheese.

As a new oleh (for just over a year) I can think of several things that might make a person reconsider living here.  Cottage cheese is NOT one of them.

And, in the spirit of absurdity, I must admit that I have come to the conclusion that on paper there is no logical reason why someone would give up the “good” life in America (or Berlin for that matter) to live in Israel.

Nevertheless, for my money, happiness is living in Israel.

I have never been happier in my life, and I truly feel that the Nefesh B’Nefesh slogan fits me - Live the Dream.

Having said that, here is my litany of complaints about life in the Holy Land:

The taxes are high - I have to pay real estate taxes on my RENTED apartment.  

The drivers are crazy, and the gas is expensive (about $100 a fill up). Driving the roads is an experience.  Rules of the road are only meant for people taking their licensing exam.  Many Israelis drive “aggressively”.  And, from my experience, the craziest drivers are the ones with the green and white license plates.  (For those not in the know, the PA issues license plates of that color).

The government is divided into fiefdoms with no agreed upon ideology, and the bureaucracy is a crawling octopus.  

I can’t figure out what the Police are for.  

Each bank branch appears to be a separate franchise - don’t try to get any banking done at a branch other than your own - and you are charged for everything including DEPOSITS.

Keeping kosher is a minefield.  There are dozens (at least) of different certification agencies - many of which consider all the others completely unacceptable.  And to add to the complexity, this year is a shmitta year - the last year of the seven year cycle - in which the rules for growing, purchasing, and eating produce become more complicated than usual.

Although I live in Gush Etzion - over the “green line” - I have yet to experience any problems from our Arab cousins.  In fact, my town of Efrat has good relations with the nearby Arab towns of Wadi Nis and Abdullah Ibrahim.  Nevertheless, every six weeks or so on average, Efrat’s security apparatus detects and foils attempted incursions - primarily for theft.

And that’s only some of the easy stuff.

We’ve had some heavy artillery fired our way during the last year.  A fatal kidnapping, and missiles from Gaza.

And it hurts my feelings that most of the world seems to think of us as one-eyed monsters.  

So then, why am I here?

There is a miracle going on.  After 2000 years, the Jewish people is being reestablished in its homeland.  How can I miss out on that?  And I want to emphasize the phrase “being reestablished”.  Israel is a developing country.  We’re still trying to figure out who we are, still trying to decide how to proceed.  The War of Independence is not over.  We still have a FRONTIER.  Our astounding successes cloud the fact that there is still lots of work to be done.  My wife and I have the opportunity to actually make a difference by being here, on both an historic and a cosmic level.

We are fortunate to have found a town that fits us - Efrat.  My wife - to whom I will refer, with her permission, as Eternal Patience - actually made the choice of Efrat.  Our deal was that if we move to Israel, we’d live where she wanted.

There are people we know who refer to us as the perfect olim. 

It’s an accident.  Well, to be more accurate, the Master of the Universe picked us up in His hand and placed us precisely where we should be.  I couldn’t be more grateful.

There are several things that make Efrat perfect for us.  

The weather is perfect three seasons out of the year.  Winter is chilly and wet, but doable.  We just finished Sukkot.  I was able to sleep out in the Sukkah every night, in perfect temperature, with no rain.

In my neighborhood, Gefen (Grape Vine), the people are amazing.  The people here are the ones I would have wanted to meet 30 years ago when I originally wanted to make aliyah.  I walked into shul on my first day here, and had a chevra in 5 minutes.  

A mixture of Anglos and IFBs (Israelis From Birth), they come

from every walk of life - including educators, Rabbis, doctors, lawyers, policemen, techies, plumbers and electricians - they are also very down-to-earth.  They are Ashkenazim, Sefardim, 

and Moroccans - Mitnagdim and Chasidim.  They like to learn Torah, laugh, talk, get together, and have a few l’chaims.  Very intelligent, and unpretentious - idealistic and, above all, still actively growing and becoming, just like the land they live in.

We live in a small apartment conveniently located so that we can walk to everything - shuls, grocery, hardware store, post office, library, medical center, etc.  There’s even a Yeshiva on the hill where I have been learning most days for a few hours.  And the view is spectacular.

Our adjustment to living in a new country with different ways of getting things done has been, for the most part, untroubled.  We came in with the desire to adjust, which is critical.

There aren’t many practical reasons for living here.  There is simply some intangible element that makes this my home.  I think it may have to do in part with with an inherent connection to the people around me, even strangers.  Somehow we speak the same internal language, even if my Hebrew is rotten.

I am fortunate to have children who, with Gd’s help, are smarter than I am, and have better characters than I do. (Isn’t that every parent’s goal?  If not, it should be!).  I sometimes try to convince my older son (The Rabbi!) that he should at least give living in Israel a try. 

He told me that he gives it a lot of thought from time to time.  The last time, a few months back, he was pondering why it might be that some people successfully make aliyah, and some don’t, and some don’t even try.  And I think there is wisdom in his words.  He said that the more “lishma” (for its own sake) one’s reasons are for coming to live in Israel, the less likely it is that the effort will succeed.

For instance, if my primary reason for coming is because it is a mitzvah to live in Israel, and my wife comes primarily because she wants to be a good wife, the chances of staying are reduced.  Alternatively, if one makes aliyah because he loves the land, feels more alive here, his learning is elevated here, and/or he feels a “resonance” with the land and the people, then success is in the air.

I mentioned “resonance”.  I have something to say about that.  I remember, in junior high school science class, an experiment in which we took two tuning forks having the same pitch, separated them, got one to vibrate, and then slowly brought them closer together.  As they were brought

closer, the vibrations from the active tuning fork started to cause the other tuning fork to vibrate as well.  This is what I am referring to as “resonance”.  The key is that the tuning forks have to have the same pitch.

I hear my son the Rabbi, and I agree with him.  For me, in coming to Eretz Yisrael, my world changed from black & white to living color.  Like in the Wizard of Oz.  When Dorothy is in Kansas, the film is in black & white, but when she lands over the rainbow, it’s all in living color.  I resonate.  We are pitched the same.

In theory, all Jews should feel the same resonance.  According to Yehuda HaLevi, in his sefer Kuzari, just as a plant will grow best in it’s native soil, so a Jew thrives best in his native soil, Eretz Yisrael.  Why this does not appear to be the case with many of us, I can not explain.  However, it’s not a new problem.  Why didn’t all of us return from Babylonia?  Tone deaf?

As for me, here I am, 62 years old, and feeling like I have my whole life ahead of me.  I could be back in Baltimore, just hanging on (as my mechutan says) until the ambulance shows up.  I try to resist becoming a shill for aliyah, because each person’s life is so different. But the happier I become, the harder it is for me to be objective.  So I sing the song that vibrates up from the ground beneath my feet.  Good Vibrations!

So my advice to my son, and to you, is not to focus on the cottage cheese.  Dance to the music!

Cottage cheese is such a small price to pay.

Or is it just me?

The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion

I never meant for my blog to become political.  The world seems to be upside down, and it bothers me a lot.  I wanted to let people know about the craziness that I have observed, and to find out if “it’s just me”.

So, based on the fact that two of my three postings have dealt with political issues (namely the “Apartheid State” designation, and Obama), I suppose I should just accept the fact that the absurdities that bother me the most are political.  And since I live in Israel, and have the privilege of ducking into a bomb shelter whenever Hamas is bored, most of that absurdity has to do with Israel vs. just about everybody.

We Jews have been accused of everything.  What I find fascinating in the current state of affairs, is that so much of what Hamas and other fanatical Islamic groups accuse us of is so unoriginal.  You’d think that, after 2000 years, someone would think of something new to hate us for.

One of the most infamous canards against the Jewish people is The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion.  All you have to do to find out about the history of this document is to do a Google search, so I won’t go into the historical details here. In short, it came out of Russia around the turn of the century (19th to 20th) in order to blame the Jews for just about everything. 

I thought that it would be an interesting exercise to compare the accusations in The Protocols with what Hamas is actually saying and doing.  Of course, I live in Israel, so finding a copy is not the easiest task.  I could download it from a delightful website called Jew Watch, but I really don’t want to add to their view count.  I sent an email to a bookstore in Jerusalem to see if they carry it, but they must think I’m some kind of crazy, because they haven’t responded.

So, I checked the catalogue at our local library here in Efrat, and this is what I found:

Goran Larsson, Fact or Fraud: The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, 1994

Umberto Eco, The Prague Cemetery, 2010

I took out both of them.

Of course, Eco’s book is a novel, so that will just be for fun.

Larsson’s book was published by the Jerusalem Center for Biblical Studies and Research, with photos and illustrations from the Simon Wiesenthal Center.  Larsson is a Christian who wrote this to confront the rising tide of anti-Semitism.  So he clearly has an agenda, but that’s OK.  Who doesn't?.

Unfortunately, his book only contains a few excerpts from The Protocols (If anyone out there has a complete copy of The Protocols, may I borrow it?). The following are examples to demonstrate how Hamas unashamedly plagiarizes the Protocols. (Maybe we could get the UN to charge them with plagiarism?).

1)   From The Protocols: The Media is run by Jews:

“These newspapers, like the Hindu god Vishnu, will be possessed of hundreds of hands, each of which will be feeling the pulse of varying public opinion...If any chatterers are going to imagine that they are repeating the opinion of their party newspaper, they will in reality be repeating...the opinion which we desire.”

2)   From The Protocols: The Jews foment revolution in order to take over the world:

“When the populace noticed that it was being given all sorts of rights in the name of liberty, it imagined itself to be master, and tried to assume power.  Of course, like every blind man, the mass came up against numerous obstacles.  Then, as it did not wish to return to the former regime, it lays its power at our feet...We have led the nations from one disappointment to another, so that they should even renounce us in favor of the King-Despot of the blood of Zion, whom we are preparing for the world.”

OK.  Now read this from the political platform of Hamas, 1988:

“The Jews have taken over the world media and financial centers.  By fomenting revolutions, wars, and such movements as the Free Masons, Communism, Capitalism and Zionism, Rotary, Lions, B’nai B’rith etc. - they are subverting human society as a whole in order to bring about its destruction, propagate their own viciousness and corruption, and take over the world via such of their pet institutions as the League of Nations, the U.N., and the Security Council.  Their schemes are detailed in the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.”

Really now.  Communism AND Capitalism?  The Rotary Club?  Is this for real?  What about the Boy Scouts, 4-H Club, and Future Farmers of America?  And we all know how friendly the UN is to Israel.  Nevertheless, PEOPLE BELIEVE THIS STUFF!

Here’s a cute little news item I just saw yesterday:

“A project management official at the Dutch National Cyber Security Center has been suspended after tweeting that the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS), now known as the Islamic State (IS), was a ‘Zionist plot’.

According to the English-language NL Times website the employee, Yasmina Haifi, wrote, “ISIS has nothing to do with Islam. It is a preconceived plan of Zionists who want to deliberately make Islam look bad.”

I assume that Haifi is educated. After all she appears to have a responsible position in a serious government agency.  Also, from her name, I assume she is Muslim.  But, maybe not.

So where does she get these idiotic notions?  Once again, it isn’t very original - just a rewarmed and regurgitated version of the same garbage.  And why would anybody believe it?

I know that I said I was only reading Umberto Eco’s book for fun.  I guess I lied.  Eco provides an astounding insight into the human mind, and why people believe this stuff.

Eco presents for our consideration the “Universal Form of Conspiracy”.  

It’s a standard form, which states that someone is to blame for all of your troubles, and all of the world’s troubles.  That “they” came from every part of the world to a secret and hidden place - “a forest clearing, a cave, a castle, a cemetery or a crypt, provided it is reasonably dark...”.  There someone presents a plan to take over the world.  All you have to do is fill in the blanks, depending on who your particular ogre is.  “For my Grandfather it was the Jews, for the Jesuits it was the Masons, for my Garibaldian father it was the Jesuits...Who knows how many other people in this world still think they are being threatened by some conspiracy.  Here’s a form to be filled out at will, by each person with his own conspiracy...if I wanted to sell a story of a conspiracy, I didn’t have to offer the buyer anything original, but simply something he already knew or could have found out more easily in other ways.  People only believe what they already know, and this is the beauty of the Universal Form of Conspiracy.”

In essence, if you provide people with a familiar tale that supports what they already believe, you can get them to believe anything.

In the novel, Eco is specifically referring to a “Jesuit plot” to take over the world.  They meet in an abandoned Jewish cemetery in Prague.

“By what cunning had the Jesuits decided to gather in a place that had been sacred to the Jews? And what control did they have over this place that was forgotten by everyone, and perhaps inaccessible?  All questions without an answer, which would have given credibility to the story, since I reckoned that Bianco would be firmly convinced that when all the facts appear fully explainable and likely, the story is false.”

Questions without answers give credibility to a story.  If the facts of a story can be verified, it is considered a fabrication.

Is anything more absurd than that?

Eureka! This explains why everybody believes Hamas, and nobody believes Israel!  The craziest lies of Hamas are believed exactly because they can’t be proven!

Not only that, but I have the answer to why the Israel-Palestinian “conflict” is irresolvable.  One can only resolve conflict, one can only negotiate a resolution to a grievance, if the grievance actually exists. 

So long as the Palestinians accuse us of absurdities that couldn’t possibly be true, then those grievances cannot be addressed in any way, shape, or form.  As long as we are accused of everything from genocide to body odor, there is nothing to negotiate about.

Fine.  You think we took your land?  Let’s talk about it.  You think we didn’t always treat you nicely.  We can talk about that, too.  We’ve got some grievances against you that we can bring up as well.  And they go back a few thousand years.

If you can’t come up with something real, then there’s nothing to talk about.

Okay.  I said I would bring up something to show that Hamas accuses us Jews of what Hamas actually does.  I’ve been going on and on, and I don’t want to take advantage of your patience.  So here is one item. If you want more, just let me know.

So, are you ready for this?  Directly from The Protocols:

“Metropolitan railways and underground passages will be constructed in all cities.  From these subterranean places we will explode all the cities of the world with their institutions and documents.”

In March 2004, Spanish trains in Madrid were bombed by Islamists.  In July 2005, the London subway system was bombed, also by Islamists.  Not to mention 9/11 and The World Trade Center.  And, by their own admission, and by verified fact, Hamas has been digging tunnels with the expressed intent of murdering Jews and abducting Jewish women and children to be captives.  This was planned for Rosh HaShanah.  It is verifiable.

So, here is my suggestion to the Israeli government.  We need to make up some bald-faced lies about Hamas.  We need to accuse them of murdering their own people.  We need to accuse them of wanting to drive all the Jews into the sea, and then kill all the rest of us.  Namely, of attempted genocide.  We need to accuse them of purposely targeting civilians.  We need to accuse ISIS of wanting to set up a worldwide Caliphate.  We need to accuse ISIS of offering Christians the choice of conversion, the Dhimmi tax, or death!

No.  That won’t work.  All that can be verified.  Fascinating.

Or is it just me?

Is Obama a Llama?

Absurdity: Is Obama a Llama?
(with apologies to Deborah Guarina and Steven Kellogg, Is Your Mama a Llama)

I am the President.
Make no mistake about that!

mama

Is Obama.....
          a Llama?









“Is Obama a llama”, 
    I asked my friend Dave,

 “I don’t think he is”,
    is the answer Dave gave,

“He views the world backwards 
    and he looks like a goon,

 why, he’s not a llama,
    he’s Ban Ki Moon!”

Ban Ki Money

                         “Is Obama a llama”,
                              I asked my friend Fred,

                         “Oh certainly not”, 
                              is what Freddy said,

                         “terrorists hide in his belly, 
                              like a Trojan horsey,

                         why, he’s not a llama, 
                              he’s Mohammed Morsi.”

Your 15 minutes of fame are up!

       “Is Obama a llama”, 
           I asked my friend Jane,
       “Are you out of your mind?” 
           she so tersely explained,

       “the worst of Obamacare
           hasn’t been told,

        why, he ain’t no llama, 
           he’s Benedict Arnold.”

West Point anyone?

                    “Is Obama a llama?”, 
                         I asked my friend Clyde,

                    “Now don’t be so silly”, 
                         is how Clyde replied,

                    “he plays golf, and takes selfies, 
                         and he thinks he’s a star,

                    why, he’s not a llama, 
                         he’s Emir of Qatar!”

A Pimple! Where's the Windex?

                “Is Obama a llama?”,
                      I asked my friend Rhonda,

                “You’re dreamin’ again” 
                      is how Rhonda responded,

                “he opens the borders, 
                      and blames it on others,

                why he’s not a llama, 
                      he’s Tom or Dick Smothers!”.

Which mouth should I speak out of?

                 “Is Obama a llama?”, 
                      I asked my friend Lyn,

                 “That’s an insult to llamas”, 
                     she said with a grin,

                 He snuggles up close 
                     with his friend Erdogan,

                 send the turkey to Turkey, 
                      in a cranberry can!”

Armenia? Where's that?

Bless us, Father, for we have sinned..

“Is Obama a llama?”
    I asked my friend Ben,

“You bet he is”, he replied, 
    with a swirl of his pen,

“llamas have big ears 
    and big lashes, too.

And they eat them as food 
    in the hills of Peru,

so I say let’s give him
    to Mahmoud Abbas,

humanitarian aid
    for his friends in Hamas!”

    

I got my eye on you !!

Get the feeling someone is watching?

    

Is there something wrong here,

or is it just me?