Sunday, July 12, 2020

White, Black, Brown, and All Shades In Between


The violence that is going on in the United States today, which is being attributed to white racism, has me very upset.

My thoughts have been going back to all of the contact I have had with people of “color” - black, brown, and all shades in between.

This is simply my experience, and you can make of it what you will.  Although my point of view will certainly become clear, I am not trying to convince anyone of anything.  I may just be clarifying these memories to understand for myself why I hold the views that I have.  Others have different memories and experiences.

I am not trying to represent anyone’s experience but my own.  Ultimately, I can only base my perspective on what I have personally experienced.  Not what I have heard or been told.  Not what I have read.  Not what makes it into the news.  What I have experienced for myself.  I will try to do so as honestly as I can.

1950’s

I grew up in a neighborhood composed primarily of Jews, Italians, and Irish.  A white suburban middle-class area outside of New York City.  We’re talking the 1950’s and 1960’s.

Once when I was really small, I was at my Aunt’s house watching some crime show on the TV.  For some reason, in my little mind, I associated a certain kind of cap with “bad guys”; I think it’s called a “flat cap” or a “newsboy cap”.  In any case, a character appeared on the screen wearing one of those caps.  I yelled out “that’s a bad guy!”.  Wouldn’t you know it, he was black.  My Aunt’s black housekeeper was in earshot and took offense, because she thought it was the color of the character that had evoked my response.  No one would believe me that it was the cap, not the character’s color, that I had responded to.  I really don’t recall whether he was a bad guy or not, actually.  But I was made to explain and apologize nonetheless.  It’s tough not to be believed, when others decide what you must have meant.

1960’s

Aside from TV, the only black people I came across in those early years were the live-in housekeepers that my parents would hire to take care of me and my brother when they went on the occasional vacation.  I remember one named Flossie very clearly.  She read me stories, was a great cook, and she taught me how to sing “Buffalo Gals Won’t You Come Out Tonight”.  I loved having her with us. 

One day, the three of us were throwing a baseball around in the backyard.  I was probably about 7 or 8 years old.  I tried to throw the ball real hard to Flossie.  I threw wild, and it hit her in the mouth.  She was bleeding, and I probably broke one of her teeth.  I felt like dirt.  I ran into the garage out of guilt, shame and self-loathing. I stayed there until Marty came and made me come out.  I don’t recall her cursing me out or anything, but she was surely angry, and in pain.  But she never held it against me, that I was aware of.

These housekeepers weren’t always black.  Mrs. Mancini, obviously Italian, was among them.  Great Italian food.  She taught me the song “He’s A College Boy”.  I can sing it to this day.  She always said that the Jews and the Italians had a lot in common.

I remember that one year our family was in Florida to visit my grandmother.  I was old enough at this point to know some American history.  I was especially aware of the Civil War.  I think we were driving through a rural area of Florida for some reason, when I noticed the run down shanties of black people along the side of the road, and the people watching as we drove by.  They looked sad to me.  I wanted to shout out to them that we were Northerners, not Southerners.  I also remember seeing the “Whites Only” water fountains, and the “Colored Served around Back” signs.  That seemed so wrong to me.

In the summers, I would sometimes go away to sleep-away camp.  It was a camp run by the New York Jewish Federation, in upstate New York.  There were always some black kids there, whose summer was being sponsored by the Federation to get them out of the City.  I don’t have any recollection of any racial issues at camp.  One year, one of the counsellors was a Navajo Indian.  Now that was really cool.  He was a gentle giant kind of a guy.

During the summer of 1967, I went with this camp on a cross country bus/camping trip across the United States.  Our bus driver was black.  He became part of the gang.  This was during what became known as “The Long, Hot Summer” of 1967.  There were 159 race riots in cities across the country.  I don’t remember exactly what sparked this.  Ironically, this was also the “Summer of Love” of the hippie generation.

We drove west from upstate New York, through Indiana (we stopped at some point for a bathroom break in Indianapolis), and came to St.Louis.  We continued through the Ozarks, into Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona, and reached our final destination of the Grand Canyon.  We came back through parts of Colorado (saw a rodeo in Denver), and camped in the “Four Corners” area.

While we were in Kansas, a stay had been arranged for us on the farm of an older Kansas couple.  I remember the woman showing us how to kill a chicken.  I’m sure it was odd for them to have a busload of New York Jews (there were 40 of us) and a black bus driver descend on their farm.  Our bus driver never slept in the tents with us.  I guess he made himself comfortable on the bus, or in a nearby motel.  But on this farm, he got to sleep in the farmhouse with the family. 

Before we left, I remember hearing the lady of the house saying that they had been wondering about the possibility of a black person being part of one of the visiting groups.  She commented that he was a human being just like anyone else.

Late summer of 1967, after I returned from camp, my parents and I moved to the island of St. Thomas in the US Virgin Islands.  Marty was in college, so he wasn’t part of the move.  St. Thomas was at least 90% black, so I spent my formative teenage years living in a black majority community.  I never came across racial tensions in the 10 years that my home was in St. Thomas from 1967 to 1977.  And this was during the heyday of the civil rights movement.

When we moved there, the Governor was still an appointee, not elected.  The Governor in 1967 was Ralph Paiewonsky, a white, Jewish native of St. Thomas, born there in 1907. He had been appointed Governor of this US Territory by John F. Kennedy.  The first elected Governor was Melvin Evans, a black Republican.  He served one term as an appointee under Richard Nixon, and then was elected in his own right.  The legislature was almost completely black as well. As were the police, fire department, etc.  

There was a significant native white minority of “Frenchmen” on St. Thomas as well.  They emigrated from St. Barths to St. Thomas in the late 19th century.  Then there were other native whites who had been there for a century or more.  And then there were the “Continentals”, mostly white newcomers from the USA, and other places, including the Dominican Republic, Nicaragua, Cuba, Puerto Rico, Denmark, and Germany.

I went to a private, non-sectarian high school in St. Thomas. It was mostly not black, unlike the public, Catholic, and Anglican schools which were the other options.  I had two black classmates, Carl Husband and Denise Armstrong, and a few Puerto Rican classmates, Nilda Soto, Ana Soto, and Maria Mora.  And Valerie King, who I think was bi-racial.  And Loretta King, who I think was her sister.  Again, there were no racial tensions or incidents.  Carl and I both played on the football team.  Carl had a white Honda Dream motorcycle, which I admired.  He later became a pastor on St. Thomas.  Denise was among the top students in the class.  She had a terrific sense of humor.  We got along well.

Once, a year or two after we moved to St. Thomas, I was back up in New York visiting the old neighborhood.  I was visiting the Italian family that used to be our neighbors.  There was some discussion about race going on, and, since I was living in a “black” island, I was asked if I would ever go out with a black girl.  I answered that, if I liked her, why not?  It was not the answer they were hoping for.

I briefly mentioned football.  Our team, almost all white, was also the smallest team.  I mean that in reference to our numbers, and in relation to our weight.  We had 12 guys in the high school from 9th to 12th grade.  Every one of us was on the football team.  I was one of the heaviest guys on the team, at 150 lbs.  We played against the other high schools, which were primarily black.  We held our own against the overpowering size and numbers of our opponents.  One year, we even came in 2nd place, behind the public high school, which was invariably in first place.  

There was never any racial friction over football. In fact, I remember one instance after I had had a particular sterling game (if I say so myself), that two black St. Thomian kids (dare I say “boys”?) called out to me afterwards (“Hey! 41!”) to see if I was going to be playing next year.  After I answered in the affirmative, they cheered and jumped up and down.

The first time I ever ran up against the effects of affirmative action had less to do with St. Thomas than with American politics.  Along with other members of our class, both Denise Armstrong and I took the National Merit Scholarship Award exam.  This was a national test.  I scored higher than Denise.  She was named a Finalist, but I was only a Runner-up.  It was unfair, but that’s just the way it was.  

We all felt respected, and American, in St. Thomas.  My Mother worked for a while for a cable TV company.  I was at her office one day shortly after Robert Kennedy was shot.  A black St. Thomian came in and expressed his shock and concern. “What happnin’ to our Nayshun?”, he asked. 

For a time, Mom worked for a Korean MD, Dr. Lu.  It used to make Mom laugh out loud when he would get annoyed and say “Burrshit!”.  There was also Dr. Kim, who was the official Physician for the football team.  He attended all of our games, and treated injuries.  I once got a puff full of yard marker lime in my eye.  As an emergency measure, Dr. Kim filled his mouth with water and rinsed the stuff out of my eye.  Thank you, Dr. Kim.

When our family went out to eat, as often as not we would go to one of the local non-tourist restaurants.  They were usually in out-of-the-way parts of the island.  There you could pick out your own fresh caught fish (Ol’ Wife, Hard Nose, Grunt, etc.), and fresh made funji (corn meal, oil, okra, salt).  You could get the fish “biled, briled, or fried”.  Delicious no matter what.  We were always welcome, and there was never any racial tension.

One summer, I worked for the Virgin Islands Department of Beautification.  Our job was to establish and maintain plantings along the roads, and in the parks, and in  public areas of the Charlotte Amalie, the capital.  Part of our time was spent in the government plant nursery; potting, replanting, etc. There was an on-site caretaker who lived on the property - an old black St. Thomian, who used to take us up to his simple dwelling for tea.  When we looked tired he would say, “When you weary, take a res’!”.

I also spent a summer working for a Social Sciences researcher at the College of the Virgin Islands.  My boss was a black Ph.D., Dr. Harrington.  He was very kind to me, and he appreciated that I would take on whatever task he assigned to me.  One of those tasks was converting his research library from the Dewey Decimal System to the Library of Congress System.

We originally lived in a neighborhood toward the east end of the island, named Estate Tutu.  Once again, a predominantly black area of individual homes.  No problems.  Later, Dad built a house in Upper John Dunko, high up and central, overlooking the harbor.  Again, no problems.

Tess Bell worked for my father’s company for several years, in the office.  She was originally from St. Lucia.  A tall, slender, majestic, and very classy black West Indian woman.  When Dad built our house, he included a rental apartment in it.  As it turned out, Tess and her boyfriend, Werner (a German), ended up living there.  We got together with them frequently.  Eventually, Tess went into business for herself.  I don’t know if she and Werner stayed together or not.  My parents and Tess remained friends for many years, even after they moved to Florida in 1977.

The most disturbing incident with racial overtones that I remember happened on Pesach.  Dad had become friendly with a family of black Jews.  I don’t remember how.  Probably from the synagogue.  Dad had also met a new Jewish family that had come to St. Thomas from one of the Dutch islands; either Curacao or Aruba. So one Pesach, we had both families over for the seder.  It was a seder just like others we had had over the years.  But, we learned later, the Dutch Caribbean family had been highly insulted that we should have black people at our table with them, even if they were Jewish.

Once, many years ago, my wife and I went for a short vacation to St. Thomas.  While we were there, I wanted to pay condolences to the wife of my former football coach, Eric Winter, who had recently passed away from ALS.  We went to where she worked, in the office of an upscale shop near Main Street.  While I was there, a black St.Thomian man saw my tzitzis.  He was somewhat awestruck, and asked me if I was an “Israelite”.  Taken aback, I thought about that for a moment and responded, “Yeah.  I guess I am”.  He was very polite and respectful, and I was truly happy that he had thought to ask the question.

1970’s

I think this is the right time to mention another affirmative action incident.  After I had been away at college for a few years, and I was studying things like botany and ornithology, I applied for a summer job as a seasonal Park Ranger at the Virgin Islands National Park on St. John.  I was very interested in the possibility of a career in the US Park Service, or the US Fish & Wildlife Service.  I was a resident of the Virgin Islands, and I was familiar with much of the flora, fauna, marine biology, and history of the islands.  I knew St. John.  I had hiked all over St. John with friends when I was in high school.  I was also a certified SCUBA diver.

I was denied the job.  When I met with one of the senior Park Rangers, he was very apologetic, and indicated to me that the job had gone to someone who was black, and who was, incidentally, not from the islands.  As a consolation prize, he offered me a job as a life guard.  I had absolutely no training as a life guard.  I found it insulting to be offered a job for which I was not qualified, but denied a job for which I was qualified.  I turned down the offer to be a life guard.  Maybe I should have taken it anyway.  Who knows?

In my dorm in college, at Colgate University, there was a student name Saba Gessesse.  She was from Ethiopia.  She was very soft spoken and dignified, and would have nothing to do with the Association of Black Collegians, no matter how hard they tried to recruit her.  There was also Kant Au, from Hong Kong.  He was a real character.  He used to go around the dorm and practice karate.  We met him once in Chinatown in NY City, and he took us to a real Chinese restaurant.  He ordered this soup for us that looked like grey dishwater.  It was delicious.  I’m afraid to think of what was in it.

At Colgate, we had a program called the January Special Studies Period.  This provided students with the opportunity to spend one entire month focused on one topic or subject.  One January, I took part in a study of the Black Panther Party.  We studied the available literature - e.g. Bobby Seale, Eldridge Cleaver - and spent a week in New York City visiting Panther headquarters and speaking with some of the leaders.  The project was headed by a Professor who was a former Catholic priest.  Don’t ask.

My particular study topic was whether the Black Panther Party was anti-Semitic,.  Given their ant-Israel platform, and their denunciation of Jewish businesses in the ghetto, one would think it was obvious.  But that’s not the way a good, Liberal, Jewish boy thinks.  While in New York City, I also visited the headquarters of the Jewish Defense League, and Bnai Brith, to pick up documentation that they had available on the subject.  Of course, I ended up supporting what was my preconceived conclusion, that the Black Panthers were anti-Israel, but not anti-Semitic.  And somehow that was OK.

A revealing encounter occurred later that semester.  While I was part of the Black Panther study group, I naturally made the acquaintance of the other students in the group, both black and white.  I also belonged to a student organization known as The Colgate Jewish Union.  Now, on campus there was a place called The Coop.  The Coop was basically a gathering place for students that included a snack bar, mail boxes, offices, etc.  Student organizations often set up a booth at The Coop to publicize events or present ideas.  Around the time of Israel Independence Day, I was manning an Israel Information Booth at The Coop.  A few of my “friends” from my January Studies group came by and were aghast that I was advocating for Israel.  I was truly taken aback.  I responded to them that I was Jewish, and that I supported Israel.  You mean, I can’t support your rights, and support my own people?  That was the end of that conversation.  This was my first experience with what is now called “intersectionality”. 

Later that semester, Rabbi Meir Kahane came to speak at Colgate.  I was all primed to ask him about the Black Panther party.  I actually got to ask my question, however I phrased it, at his lecture.  I got the expected answer, that anti-Semitism is often clothed in anti-Israel rhetoric.  I had the opportunity to speak privately with Rabbi Kahane afterwards when a few students got together with him.  I found him to be very sane, rational, and patient with what I had to say.  Not at all strident.  He was also pretty tired.

After college, I was fortunate to find a job as a Museum Technician at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History in Washington, DC.  On a lark, I had gone to the Placement Center my Senior year, and filled out a Federal Job application form.  Sure enough, shortly before graduation, I was contacted, and invited to come to an interview in New York City with Dr. Edward Ayensu, the Chairman of the Botany Department at the Smithsonian.  The name sounded Chinese.  I met him at an apartment in New York.  He was not Chinese.  He was Nigerian.  He became my first boss, at my first job, after college.  One of the reasons I got the job was my connection to the Virgin Islands.  Most of the botanical research being done at the Smithsonian was tropical.

I worked on a three person team at the Smithsonian, in conjunction with the Botany Department and the Automated Data Processing Department. The three of us made up the Type Register Project.  There was a white woman (Polly Prichard) , and a black woman (Bonita Johnson), and myself.  Polly and I collected and enhanced information from the specimens in the botany collection, and Bonita did the data entry.  I was new to the DC/Maryland/Virginia area.  Bonita used to call a pen an “Ink Pen”.  “Please hand me the Ink Pen” she would say.  

We were definitely diverse.  Polly could trace her family to the Mayflower.  She had graduated from the University of Maryland.  Her father was a high ranking retired Naval Aviation officer.  Her mother was originally from Iowa.  Bonita was born and raised in Maryland, and a high school graduate.  I was this Jewish guy from NY and the Virgin Islands, and a graduate of Colgate University.

After 3 1/2 years at the Smithsonian, I left and started graduate school at William & Mary.  For a time, I shared an apartment with another student.  It wasn’t a good match.  When I found a better arrangement, I found another roommate for him, to take over my part of the lease.  This new roommate was a black student.  I remember that my soon to be ex-roommate was not thrilled about it, but he consented.

Our Department Chairman was from Mississippi.  This is between 1977 and 1981.  When he first came to teach at William & Mary, it was “ethnic” groups that he had to get used to.  “Mr. Jaffee”, he said to me, “in Mississippi, we didn’t have ethnic groups.  We had whites, and we had blacks.  And everyone had Anglo-Saxon names.  I never met anyone with a non-Anglo-Saxon name until I came to William & Mary”.  I had the opposite experience.  I never met anyone named Jones or Smith until I came to William & Mary.  I thought they were joking.

Now here is a funny story:  at William & Mary, I was working on a Master’s degree in Biology.  I had been awarded a Teaching Assistantship to help cover my tuition.  I was teaching a lab section of BIO 101, Introduction to Biology.  During a section on genetics, we were discussing physical traits that are genetically determined.  One of these is ear lobes.  Some are attached, and some are free, that is, they hang down.  There was one black student in the lab section.  His name was Jesse.

So, I’m standing facing the board, and calling out each student by name to find out if they have free or attached ear lobes, and I was making a count of how many of each we had in the class.  When I got to Jesse, I asked, “Jesse, are you free?”.  There was a long pause.  I asked again, “Jesse, are you free?”.  After a moment, Jesse answered, “Free at last”.  Talk about embarrassed.  But it was taken well, and no one accused me of racism or micro-aggression.  I did not lose my job, and I was not brought up on charges, and I did not have to do community service so that I could become “woke”.

One of my colleagues in graduate school, a white woman, was married to a man from India.  I think his name was Raj.  She was really nice, but I never really liked him.  He was arrogant.  Could never figure out what she saw in him.  Once, some of us grad students were spending an evening at the home of one of our professors.  As I recall, Raj was expounding upon the superiority of his newly acquired Christianity.  Raj had been a Brahmin, the higher Hindu class.  This somehow led us to start talking about our various religious affiliations.  When I shared that I was Jewish, Raj blurted out, “Jewish! That’s the worst one!”.  His wife was mortified.  It was years before I got over my distaste for Indians.

Now we get to more recent history - within the last 30 years!

1980’s and 1990’s and 2000’s

In 1981, I had finished grad school and wasn’t finding work in my field.  I decided to sign up for a volunteer program in Israel, called Sherut La’am, and in the intervening months, I moved to Charlottesville to stay with my brother and his wife Cheryl. 

At one point, I found a job doing data entry for a company called Commonwealth Clinical Systems.  My supervisor was a black woman, and I was the only male on the team.  I worked there for several months, and then left for my volunteer program in Israel.

On my return from Israel 10 months later, I stopped into my former employer looking for a job.  I was told to come back in a month, and they would have a job for me.  A month later, I showed up to find that there had been a major shake up in the management staff.  The owners had me start by working the operations night shift.  After a few months, I was promoted to Assistant Director for Customer Service.  This was awkward, because the data entry supervisor, whom I had worked for previously, was now technically under my supervision.

She was not happy one bit.  A congenial relationship became one of resentment.  It’s clear to me that this new position was what the owners had in mind for me when I was re-hired.  I don’t believe that she was ever in consideration.  There were other issues.  Nevertheless, a white male was promoted, but a black female was not.  Based on what I know about the company and who made the decision, I don’t believe that racial distinctions were part of the decision process, but superficially it might appear to be the case.  But I have no way of knowing for sure.

I should mention that my brother’s second wife, Leah, was a Filipino convert.  I believe she also had Japanese (or Chinese) and Hawaiian in her genealogy.  No one in the family ever considered this to be an issue.  Unfortunately, they divorced.  My niece from that marriage, Aviva, is a beautiful young woman with a Pacific/Asian appearance.  She made aliyah, and served in a combat unit in the Israeli army.  She now lives in Seattle, and is engaged to an Israeli.

In 1991, I started working at the Social Security Administration in Baltimore.  I worked there for about 20 years, until January of 2012.  I worked under multiple black supervisors, men and women, as well as one hispanic and one Japanese American.  I would say at least 1/3 of my colleagues, as well as those I supervised, were black, hispanic, oriental, or south asian.  Racial issues were not part of those relationships.  Except once.

There was one black woman, who had been on long-term sick leave from SSA, but she had decided to return to work.  It turns out, that she had returned in order to have enough time on the job to retire.   She really resented being there.  She would find any excuse to complain to the union, and claim racial discrimination.  

Government employees are all aware that there are often certain employees whose work is so poor, that they just are not given any serious work to do.  It is extremely difficult to fire anyone, and it practically takes up all of a supervisor’s time to deal with the documentation, paperwork, and hearings.  So it is just easier to ignore them.  Eventually, she decided to retire, to everyone’s relief.

Anecdotally, there was a “famous” case brought against SSA called “100 Black Men”.  The lawyer who represented them was a disgruntled former SSA employee.  I knew the guy.  They alleged discrimination in hiring and promotion.  They won the case, and the lawyer earned a million dollars.  In all of my 20 years of experience at SSA, I personally never saw or experienced any form of discrimination.  If people were nasty, and they sometimes were, it was strictly personal.

In 1995, I completed my training as a Massage Therapist.  I saw clients in the evening in my home office, in my basement, for almost 18 years.  One of my favorite and most regular clients was a black man, Arschel Morrell.  Arschel was married to a colleague of mine at Social Security, of Italian extraction, Mary.  Arschel was a native of Baltimore, who grew up in the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s.  His mother had worked at one of the major department stores downtown.  He remembered how blacks were excluded from the store, except as employees.  He remembered white only amusement parks.  Yet he came to me every month and said, “Norm, make me feel good”. 

The main Jewish neighborhood in Baltimore, Upper Park Heights, bordered the black neighborhood of Lower Park Heights.  Baltimore is a largely black city.  We were all aware that anything left outside, even during the day, was subject to being stolen by young black kids who walked through the neighborhood.  Kids on bicycles were at risk of being accosted and their bikes stolen.  You would often see some black kid 5 feet tall riding a little kid’s bike.  A sure sign that it was stolen.  But any action taken was construed as racist.

The past few times I have been in Baltimore, I have been warned not to go out walking at night by myself.  Burglaries and muggings are common.  These are not white on white crimes.

But there were funny experiences, too.  For example, one Shabbos afternoon, I was walking down the street in my bekishe and streimel.  A black kid across the street saw me and shouted, “Hey! You got a cake on yo’ head!”.  I agreed.  It has become one of my stock stories.

At our shul, we had more than a handful of black Jews as congregants over the years.  A few black women, and a really nice guy named Efraim Relerford, originally from Michigan. Soft-spoken, intelligent and dignified.  There was also Yisroel (Jerome) Bethea, who was a former actor who converted later in life.  Then there was Gerry Gilstrop, married to Becky Pepkowitz (white). 

Another well known black member of the Baltimore Jewish community was Dovid Davis, who ran a pest control business.  His mother was Jewish.  He was a snappy dresser.  He beat a squirrel to death in my house once.  And he would bring Johnnie Walker Blue to the kiddush at the hashkama minyan on Shabbos.

But my all-time favorite is Daniel Shaw (San-San).  San-San moved to Baltimore from Jamaica, sometime in the 90s I guess.  He has an Aunt in Baltimore.  He got a job working at Tov Pizza, in the Jewish neighborhood.  As a child in Jamaica, he had always been more interested in Old Testament stories than the Christian bible. Over time, he became more interested in Judaism, and ultimately converted.  We had a great time together because we could share West Indian culture.  He’d come to our house, and I’d make fish and funji, and we’d drink Jamaican Red Star beer.  Eventually, he made aliyah.  In Israel he met and married an Indian Jewish woman from London.  They eventually moved to London.  He has a beautiful daughter.

2010’s

Marietta and I passed through London for a few hours about 5 years ago, in transit from Baltimore to Tel Aviv.  He met us at the airport.  We grabbed a cab, and drove to nearby Windsor Castle, and took the tour.  We took a bite to eat with us, and sat down in a park, reminiscing and watching British people enjoying a rare sunny day.  We still keep in touch.

In Israel, I spent some time learning about Breslov Chassidus with Rav Dror Moshe Cassouto, at what was then the Emunah Center in Jerusalem.  One of the people who I met there was Nissim Black, a black Jewish musician, and Breslover Chasid, and his cousin, Mr. Brown (no joke).

Today

I haven’t yet become friends with any Ethiopian Jews here in Israel, but I hope that it is just a matter of time.  I see them in uniform, and walking as families, even occasionally here in Efrat.  I should resolve not to let the opportunity pass me by again.  However, I feel self-conscious about approaching someone just because of their color.  It seems self-serving to me.  I’m hoping for a more normal introduction.

One of my best friends is Moroccan.   I don’t know if this “counts”, but he is of a darker shade, as are many Moroccans and other Sefardim.  He’s married to a nice Jewish girl from Indiana.  His father escaped that North African country not long after the founding of Israel.  It’s a hair-raising story.  He was only 16 at the time. 

One of my favorite places to doven is the Moroccan shul, which is practically next door.  They are always warm and welcoming to us Ashkenazim, and they doven b’simcha.  One of the Moroccans, Daveed, likes to greet me in Yiddish, which he learned through his work.  He knows a lot more Yiddish than I do.  Go figure.

Living in Israel means being in contact with Arabs - both Israeli and PA.  Many in the West speak of Arabs in the same category as American blacks.  Actually, nothing could be further from the truth.  And that goes for color as well.  A dark Arab is physically indistinguishable from a dark Jew.  This racial distinction is completely false.  I was at a mall in Jerusalem the other day.  The mall was full of Jews and Arabs.  Two Muslim Arab women were sitting together at a cafe having a bite to eat.  In the stroller next to them, was a beautiful baby - as white as any European baby I have ever seen.

Only yesterday, I ended up in the Emergency Room at Shaarei Tzedek Hospital in Jerusalem, for what turned out NOT to be a cardiac issue, BH.  I was at the hospital from 1 AM on Shabbos morning till 9 PM Saturday night.  The composition of the staff, as well as the patients, was around 50/50 Jews and Arabs.  It was heartening to see everyone working together to get the job done, without making distinctions.  This was particularly easy to spot with religious women.  There were Jewish female doctors, nurses and technicians, with their hair covered, working along with their Muslim colleagues in hijab.  This to me was a vision of how it could be.  How it should be.

I want to say at this point something significant, that writing all this has made clear to me.  It’s not necessarily so profound.  My experience has taught me that differences in skin color (or culture or ancestry) become insignificant when there is a common bond - be it, for example, as classmates, teammates, colleagues,  Americans, Israelis, or as Jews.  What is shared makes other differences merely incidental.  This has been my experience, as I see it, from my earliest memories.  What binds us together, ideally, makes other distinctions of secondary import.  I would suggest that in our time, in contrast to155 years ago, racial distinctions should have much less relevance than our common vision.  Compared to 1865, people of the various racial groups in America have much more in common.

One of the achievements of Martin Luther King, Jr., was to articulate a vision that we all could share.  That he was able to articulate this vision, despite the difficult times which engendered his words, was a victory of character.  Is there hope that  character, as well as his vision, are not a thing of the past??

Here is a glimmer of hope from a recent trip to Baltimore.  As we have often done, we flew into Newark, and took the Amtrak train from there to Baltimore.  It’s a comfortable 2.5 hour trip, and a nice transition time from the craziness of airline travel and airports.  On this particular trip, I did something I’d never done before.  I went to the Dining Car to get a cup of coffee.

A young black man was working behind the food service counter.  Somehow, in conversation, it came out that I lived in Israel.  He became very excited, and told me that he and his girlfriend had made plans to travel to Israel, and they were really looking forward to it.  He was so enthusiastic, that I decided to give him a 20 Shekel note to spend on his trip.  Now he was REALLY excited!

Standing next to me was an elderly black gentleman, dressed in what appeared to be African clothing - what we used to call a Dashiki, and various ornaments.  He, too, was very enthusiastic about meeting a Jew from Israel.  The source of his interest was a little different, though.  

He proceeded to ask me why it is that with the Jewish people returning to Israel, that the Messiah hadn’t yet come.  He thought that maybe we weren’t doing a good enough job, and he wanted to know what we intended to do about it!  I had to tell him that I had the same question, and explained to him that we were like any other nation - we had our internal disagreements and hadn’t yet perfected our relationships with each other.  I explained that Moshiach would definitely come, but in his own time and in his own way.

I walked away from these conversations with a satisfied smile on my face.  I could see that there was a reason that the Master of the Universe had sent me up to the Dining Car to get a cup of coffee, something which I had never done before.  To this day I do not know what the purpose was, but I’m sure it will have repercussions that are way beyond my perception.  And I was basking in the warmth that these two black men had showered upon me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *


It has been close to seven decades since those growing up days in New York until now. 

I’ve lived through the unrest of the Civil Rights movement. 

I’ve lived through the strife of the Viet Nam War. 

I’ve lived in a black majority community in the West Indies.

I have worked with and for black men and women.

I have been directly effected by affirmative action and intersectionality.

I’ve lived through the Presidencies of Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, G Bush, Clinton, W Bush, Obama, and Trump.  

I’ve seen JFK, RFK, and MLK assassinated.

I’ve seen the election of the first black Governor of the Virgin Islands, and the first black President of the United States.  

I’ve marched on Washington to protest the Viet Nam war..  

I have seen the vision of Martin Luther King, Jr. - to be judged by the content of one’s character and not by the color of one’s skin - literally go up in smoke.  

The toxic philosophy of racial identity politics has, at least temporarily, overcome.  That’s not what “We Shall Overcome” was supposed to mean.  It was supposed to bring all Americans into the historical process of bringing about “a more perfect union”.  It was not meant to pit race against race.  It was meant, ideally, to eliminate that.

It’s not what I have stood for, or believed in, or acted upon.

And this is what I’ve learned:

Be wary of simple answers to complicated problems.  There are only partial answers.  And each partial answer produces new problems.  Prepare to address the problems you expect to arise from your solution, and be ready to recognize the ones you won’t be likely to predict.

Be aware that no person, family, community, party, movement, philosophy, government, or country is perfect.  Don’t expect perfection, but never stop trying.

All people identify with one group or another. That is normal and healthy.  It is in the nature of every human being.  It is how we act upon that inclination that determines if our actions represent a pathology.  Pride in one’s people is not racism.

The way to resist racism, which surely exists - it has existed, and it will always exist - is not to behave as a racist.

Those who are quick to accuse people of racism, are often the actual racists.  As a corollary to this, be suspicious of any cause that includes in its doctrine an anti-Israel platform.  There’s usually no real reason for it to be there.  That should be the perennial litmus test.

Our task, to the extent that it is humanly possibility, is to see the common humanity in each person, as well as what distinguishes them from ourselves.  And to take responsibility for how we react to that.  Don’t blame someone else, or some other group for your actions or situation.   Neither should you accept the blame for something you did not create.  You are as much a victim, and a beneficiary, of the past as anyone else.

Or is it just me?

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Assimilator vs Articulator


I am an assimilator.

Not in the way you might think of the term.  I’m not in favor of Jews becoming assimilated.

Here’s what I mean.  

When I learn something that sits well with me, that resonates with a sense of truth,  that idea becomes part of my subconscious reference universe.  From then on, whatever I should I encounter in life, learning, or experience will be evaluated somehow in that intangible realm.  It either “feels” right, or not.

An articulator, on the other hand, is one of those amazing individuals who remember almost word for word what they have learned, and exactly who taught it.  They can access all this information at seemingly lightning speed, make all the logical connections necessary to evaluate new information, and articulate the similarities and distinctions that have emerged.

It’s not that I can’t.  I’m just not disciplined enough to do it.  At least, not usually.

After all, it seems to me that the ultimate purpose of articulating thought, is so that it can be understood and then assimilated.  So why bother with the middle man?

Here’s a story.  When I lived in the Virgin Islands, my parents had a house high up on the side of a mountain overlooking the harbor of Charlotte Amalie.  I remember once my brother and I were sitting on the veranda, and he was talking to me.  (My brother, Marty, was finishing up a BA in Religion at Syracuse University.  He would go on to get his MA from Florida State, and his Ph.d from Brown University.  He became a Professor of Comparative Religion at the University of Virginia, and then moved on to the University of Washington in Seattle, where he was a tenured Professor until he retired.)  Anyway, Marty is an articulator, verbally and in writing.  

So, I don’t remember the exact subject of his articulation, but it was something about the relationship of thought to perception and it’s relation to action in the world.  While he was speaking, I noticed something below in the underbrush, and blurted something like “Look Marty, a mongoose!”.  Marty stopped in mid-sentence.  He looked at me and said, “Here I am talking about it, and you’re doing it.”

One problem with being an assimilator, is that you really have nothing to show for it.  What I mean is, I can’t enumerate or quantify what I have learned.  It only shows up during a conversation or a discussion, but even then, I can’t specify who taught this, or where, or when.  I am so impressed by people who can specify “chapter and verse”.

I am so fortunate to have sons who put up with this.  They are always very supportive and encouraging in our learning together, and I pretend not to know that I’m not being very impressive.  My youngest, Avi, learns with me over the phone every week.  He decided during his recent visit to Israel (with his amazing bride, Leah Gittel), that he would teach me a method of learning, and that by the time we finished Masechet Chagigah, I would be able to learn any gemora.  We learn once a week, and I am supposed to review 20 minutes a day - the new stuff and back to the beginning.

Trouble is, there’s an expectation that I am putting it to memory.  Well, I can remember the concepts, and maybe even apply them, but word for word?  And who said what?  And the structure of the argument?  Well, “that dog don’t hunt”.  

I was listening to a psychology lecture by Jordan Peterson.  It was the first lecture of a course on personality at the University of Toronto.  He was giving pointers to his students about how to study.  He said that highlighting doesn’t help.  After reading, he recommended writing a summary of the section you read, to assist in remembering it.

That seemed like a good idea to me, and has some similarities to Avi’s method.  So I decided I would sit down and start to memorize the gemora I’m learning.  Summarizing it in my head, so to speak.  I’ve had some success, but my personality is very rejectionist about this kind of thing.  I had the same reaction to memorizing mathematical formulas way back in high school.  I spent practically the first 12 years of my life memorizing times tables, spelling lists, historical dates, scientific and geographic terminology.  I realize that some things just have to be memorized, but I think I’ve paid my dues!

As my Mother, of blessed memory, would say, "What are you knocking yourself out for?".

I feel the same way, at this point in my life, about regular schedules.  

Anyway, I ought to just come out and admit it.  I’m lazy.  I’m lazy, and then I whine about it.  There’s nothing more pathetic than that.

But I also believe in perseverance and discipline.  So I battle myself daily.  When I win, it’s great.  When I don’t, I tend to feel sorry for myself.  I suspect that I waste half of every week this way.  Imagine what I could accomplish if I only had a single-minded purpose?

Working on myself is my full-time job, which is actually justifiable from a Torah perspective, so maybe I’m doing OK after all?  There have been critical moments in my life which required instantaneous action.  Fully assimilated knowledge becomes practically instinctual.  Without thinking, I reacted at light speed with precision and accuracy.  That’s not necessarily what an articulator might be capable of.  I felt good about that.

Or maybe not?

Or, is it just me?







Monday, October 29, 2018

RockaMySoul


This post dedicated to Avrum Weisss - friend, chavrusa, scouter of sources of Torah, who listens to my ravings with interest, and encourages me to write them down.  Thanks Avrum. This post is your fault!


Sometimes various realms of reality come together in a strange way.  One new piece of information or an experience of learning triggers bits of information that have been stored away until a connection arises.  You can glorify this by calling it random access memory or, perhaps more accurately - stream of consciousness, or free association.

I recently had an experience of this type, during a shiur where we were learning from R. Noson’s Likutei Halachos, Orach Chaim, Hilchos Tefillas Mincha, 4:1.

R. Noson brings from Rebbe Nachman how careful we have to be at the time for dovening Mincha.  It was at this time, just before the creation of the world, that God somehow withdrew or contracted his presence so that something else could exist.  This is the afternoon before “and there was evening, and there was morning”.

This “space” from which God withdrew his presence is known as the Chalal HaPanui - the “Unoccupied Vacuum”.  The time of mincha, then, is a time to be carefully aware that God’s presence is in some way in a state of relative absence.

R. Noson goes on to speak about questions and doubts for which we have no apparent answers.  The answers to these questions are beyond our understanding, and so we must rely on our Emunah to accept that they are Truth.  These kinds of questions, he says, are formed from the Chalal HaPanui - that Unoccupied Vacuum - from which God removed himself (and continues to do so at this time every day) in order for the world to exist.

Therefore, says R. Noson, if one were to actually be able to answer these questions, and therefore fill that vacuum, then one would locate God there - which is impossible - for to do that would eliminate the Chalal HaPanui which allows for Creation to be, and thus this world would cease to exist. So it is forbidden to seek the answers to these questions.

R. Yitzchok Bell, our teacher, explained that there are actually three levels of God’s presence implied here - 1. the heavens, where His presence is complete, 2. in this world, where His presence is concealed, and 3. in the Chalal HaPanui, where His presence is absent.  Yet, R. Noson goes on to say that God is always present, even in the Chalal HaPanui!  Don’t ask me how that works.  I don’t know.  This is an unresolvable contradiction.

It is one of those things that are impossible to comprehend.  Reb Noson says the only approach to such things is through Emunah - that is the only way we can live within this state of contradiction.

That brought to mind one of the corollaries of Murphy’s Law: “There are Some Things Which are Impossible to Know, But it is Impossible to Know these Things”.

Then the old Spritual, from the days of slavery in America, called Rocka My Soul, came to mind.  It goes like this (at least this is one version):

Rocka My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham,
Rocka My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham,
Rocka My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham,
O Rocka My Soul, O Lordy,
So high you can’t get over it,
So low you can’t get under it,
So wide you can’t get around it,
Ya gotta go in through the door.

My cranial synapses crackled and sparked and came up with this:  this song is perhaps about how to co-exist with existential questions that have no answers - they are too high, too low, and too wide - so you have to enter that world through the front door - Emunah.  Abraham was the ultimate man of faith - Emunah - who encountered the unknowable All Present, and who marched unquestionably into the unknown when commanded by God.  Father Abraham, please hold us close, and give us of your Emunah, so that we can live meaningfully despite our profound inability to fully understand.

Those snapping neurons then came up with something else regarding the three worlds of God’s presence - heaven (all present), this world (concealed presence), and Unoccupied Vacuum (no presence).  

There was a series of recordings way back in the enlightened age of the 60’s and 70’s by a group called Firesign Theater.  They were a surreal comedy group, that recorded complex tales containing multiple levels of allusion and reference, which were primarily listened to by stoned out hippies and college students (of course, I was neither of those!).  You could listen to them over and over, and hear new things that you hadn’t noticed in the first 100 listens.  (Wow !  Far out !).

Anyway, they had one album that asked the question: “How Can You Be in Two Places at Once when You’re not Anywhere at All”.  God is in heaven, God is in this world, but He’s nowhere at all in the Unoccupied Vacuum, but actually He is!  This is one of the unanswerable questions of R. Noson !

Now, I have also been listening to the University lectures of Jordan Peterson, of the University of Toronto.  He’s a Clinical Psychologist who wrote a book entitled Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief.  Simply put, it’s about the psychology of religion, although it’s really much more than that.  It’s about how to find meaning in life.

He emphasizes that it is the nature of human beings to explore the unknown and plumb it for the riches (moral, psychological, social, physical, etc.) that are hidden amongst the dangers that lurk there.  He talks about the archetypical Hero who has the “heroic willingness to encounter the unknown, articulate it, and share that with people.  There’s no nobler vision than that”.

According to Peterson, it is essential for individuals to encounter what is beyond what they know in order to grow and thrive.  People are very complex, and so these encounters take place on many inter-related levels, primarily in the realm of social interaction.  Each level he calls a Map.  It is when all of our maps stack up and align along a single axis, when we find the coherent thread that is common to them all, that we discover the value structure in our lives.  That is the Map of maps, the Meta-Map.  Hence, Maps of Meaning.  

He points out how essential it is to discover the meaning in our lives through ACTION, because what we value is revealed to us via what we do, though it may remain consciously unarticulated.

I have been profoundly affected by this series of 12 lectures, and also a simpler version of his book, entitled 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote for Chaos.  

So, bringing this back to R. Yitzchok’s shiur - he talked about Rebbe Nachman’s concept of Niggun - which he said is best described as harmony.  A niggun is commonly understood as a chasidic wordless melody, but Rebbe Nachman’s concept of Niggun is much more than that.  

It seems to me that, like action, Niggun expresses what has not been articulated, and is understood without speech, which would limit its completeness.  We can learn from Niggun, or our actions, what is meaningful to us even if not articulated, just like the harmony that is revealed when levels of maps of meaning are aligned via their common element, or when we listen to a symphony, or when we get a joke.  That’s how something we hear or see may instantly resonate within us, and express an as yet unarticulated truth.

This is possible because, according to Peterson, the articulated world is like waking thought.  It strives for coherence by selecting for what is relevant, and imposing order. Dream thought is inarticulate.  It strives for completeness by paying attention to everything, ascribing equal relevance to all experience.  “Waking thought sacrifices completeness for coherence, whereas dream thought sacrifices coherence for completeness”.  We have to limit our perceptions in order to focus on a coherent view of our reality in order to function in the world, despite knowing very little of it. “You have to move through the entire world even though you don’t know it in detail”.

Niggun may be a form a dream thought.  Incoherent, yet complete. Perhaps like the idea of Shira in the Torah.  I wondered about the possibility, through art or music, of fully expressing Shir shel Yam without the words. How could such an experience be completely expressed in mere words?  I wish the Niggun had been preserved as well.

OK, so, getting back to the inherent contradictions in the concept of Chalal HaPanui.  Peterson talks about how the ideal state of existence is to have one leg in the “explored” world, and one in the unknown, the world of chaos.  Chaos, like water, is “a constant source of renewal - drink the chaos of life - chaos is water - washing away too much order.”  “The proper amount of chaos is the water that nourishes the garden”.  Just like a river flooding it's banks restores fertility to the land.  

That edge zone where we encounter contradiction, the flood plain, is the place where the known and the unknown meet.  What we can understand, and what we might never understand.  And that place of contradiction is itself a source of energy and creativity.  God created Contradiction (He is, and yet He isn’t), through which the world could come into Being.  In the terminology of Ecology, this is a concept called the “edge effect”.  Where two different ecosystems meet, this is where the most bio-diversity is found.  It is where nature is most prolific.

The known (the absence of contradiction) is a comfortable and safe retreat from the encounter with contradiction (the unknown), but only a respite.  It is not a healthy or permanent state.  We regroup in the known, in order to return to the exhausting yet energizing creative state.  The Friction of Contradiction is what creates energy and existence, like the generation of electricity through the interaction of oppositely charged magnets.

As Peterson says “Being is a problem.  If you want to have no problems, then there is no Being”.  As I understand it, the unanswerable questions are a problem.  But, if you remove them, you eliminate Being itself.  They are there expressly for us to grapple with, because that struggle generates Being.  Without the struggle, it all disappears.

This reminded me of something that Rabbi Menachem Goldberger brought down from his Rebbe, Rabbi Shloime Twersky, ztz"l.  To paraphrase: we grow in leaps from one level to the next.  At each level, we rest and assimilate what we have learned.  Then, we make the next leap.  It is during the leap between levels that we encounter the Eternal. 

peekaboo !

And this brought to mind an article written by Morty Tenenbaum in the journal Introspection, Number 2, 5764 (2003-2004),  entitled “Humor as a Spiritual Experience”.  It is about the nature and function of laughter.  God is playing an eternal game of peek-a-boo with us.  He is here and not here simultaneously.  And this generates laughter.  
(see https://isitjustme-nisan.blogspot.com/2014/07/absurdity-these-and-these-are-both.html)

He writes:
“The moment the existential paradox becomes resolved is when we react to something by laughing.  We can’t explain how a single undifferentiated unity lies at the center of a world of pluralities, being and nothingness.  Existence is comprised of the jarring fusion of singularity and plurality, being and nothingness.  Humor consists of a living example of a single concept imbued with multiple incompatible concepts, the coexistence of opposites.  At the moment of laughter we get it.  We understand not through thought or reason, but our sense of humor is indeed just that, an awareness of the single undifferentiated whole lurking behind our pluralistic existence.  Humor and existence ask and answer the same question in the same way.  ‘Is it, or isn’t it?’  Both!”  

Which is exactly what I did (laugh, that is. Not too loud I hope) in the midst of the shiur.  Because, as Sherlock Holmes would say, “the game is afoot!”

Now, I have to say that I take some exception to the idea, presented by R. Noson, that certain things are simply forbidden to ask questions about.  To my mind, that is a serious error.  Doing so pushes people away.  But perhaps at the time he was writing, the circumstances were so dire that this was prudent.  I do know that in the 12th century, Rambam’s books were burned, by Jews, in France.  I also know that centuries later Rebbe Nachman explicitly lists Rambam’s Guide to the Perlexed as forbidden to read, because of the danger of polluting holy thought with foreign knowledge.  Rebbe Nachman’s own teachings, as well, were considered too dangerous to learn by the Chernobyl chasidim and their offshoots.  So there seems to be enough of this kind of thing to go around.

Peterson constantly uses the analogy of the dragon and his horde of gold.  The unknown is dangerous, but that’s where the gold is.  It's where Bilbo Baggins has to go to fulfill his potential.  As Peterson says, "Don't let what you are stop you from being what you could be".  To my mind, that encounter is what keeps existence afloat.  The dragon, chaos, the unknown and perhaps unknowable, is in Tenenbaum’s terms “the single undifferentiated whole lurking behind our pluralistic existence”.

Is any of this true?  Is this correct?  Or is it just the result of random free associations in the confused mind of a geriatric student of life?

I don’t know.  But if you are ever wondering why I am staring whimsically off into space, or making random puns and associations, uttering non sequiturs, singing obscure songs, or even laughing out loud, you’ll know that chaos is getting the better of me.

Or is it just me?

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Where is Captain Kangaroo Now That We Really Need Him?


I know that it’s foolish to wish for the “good old days”.  Makes me feel like Walter Brennan (“Gran-pappy Amos, the head of the clan, roars like a lion but he’s gentle as a lamb”) in the 50’s TV series The Real McCoys, thumping around on his gimpy leg, complaining to Luke about what has changed for the worse down at The Grange meetings.  

Or like someone in the old Broadway show “Flower Drum Song”, complaining about “what’s the matter with kids these days!”.

My childhood memories are just that, the memories of a child, blissfully unaware of the controversies and hostilities of the times in which I grew up.  As an adult, I now know that the 1950’s and 1960’s were hardly a period of “simple peace and harmony”, as they say in Fiddler on the Roof.  

But for me as a kid, it was a time of Captain Kangaroo, Roy Rogers, I Love Lucy, My Three Sons, The Wonderful World of Disney, and the like.  And it wasn’t just entertainment that was different. So was the news. I can’t imagine Walter Cronkite broadcasting the kinds of blatant lies, half truths, and propaganda that pass for news “nowadays”.

I was fortunate to get an outstanding education.  In elementary school, junior high, and high school I learned civics and social studies.  

I learned about the structure of the government at the state and federal levels, the Constitution of the United States, the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, American and European History, southeast Asia, even the history of reconstruction in Japan after WWII.  Not to mention the usual math, science, English, French, literature, and music.

I attended an outstanding University, where every Freshman had to take two semesters of P & R - Philosophy, Religion, & Drama.  That’s every Freshman.  A basic background in the cornerstones of Western civilization - thought, faith, and dramatic expression - as well as non-western cultures.  I continued with course work in Philosophy, Religion, History, Literature, Psychology, Biology, and Chemistry.

At all levels, I learned the importance of critical thought, civil discourse, differences of outlook and opinion, and the thoughtful consideration of seemingly conflicting ideas in the pursuit of what is true - or at least what is workably close to truth - even those ideas you might not be inclined to hear or accept.  

That is the magic of America.  That’s how it works.  That is how we can all call ourselves Americans, no matter who we voted for, or where we originated.  That’s how a civilization not only survives, but thrives.  I accepted this perspective as a common understanding which was universally accepted.  

Silly me.

Of course, there were things like the Viet Nam War and the battle for Civil Rights.  I marched against the war, and I demonstrated my support for the struggle for Civil Rights.  

But I could never go as far as some did in the rhetoric they used.  I remember being at a rally where the chant was “Hey, hey, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?”.  This disgusted me.  Did they really think that LBJ sat in the White House gleefully counting the dead?  Disagree, protest, even vehemently, but since when do we demonize?  

No matter how I felt about the War, Johnson was the President of the United States.  Show some respect for the Office, if not the man.  Same thing with Nixon.  Boy, was I glad to see him go, but he was the President - and respect for that Office I considered a civic obligation, no matter how I felt about the occupant, because without that we place the Nation at risk.

Today it seems so different.  

College students, when asked about the Constitution, don’t know what the Bill of Rights is, and express disdain for the right of free speech.  They don’t know what Checks and Balances are, and the responsibilities of the respective branches of government. 

Respect for institutions, people, and different ideas is not considered a virtue.  Speakers are violently driven off campus. and college administrations condone it.  Facts don’t matter.  There are crazies at every extreme and the middle is scattering for cover.  

Both extremes hate lots of people.  Where did these people grow up? Certainly not in the bubble of fairness and brotherhood that I grew up in.  What’s so inspiring about hate, anyway? 

Hate feels horrible.

Whatever happened to working out our differences so that we could find a middle ground that is a better alternative for most people?  

I naively believe that at some point, it did exist.  Perhaps only grudgingly, since many of the Founding Fathers couldn’t stand one another.  They fought, and argued, and debated (and slandered), but somehow they compromised for what they saw as the common good.  Is that even possible in our time?  

Governing has become a pissing contest about who can beat up who without having to take any real responsibility for anything, and blaming the inevitable disaster on the other guy.  Maybe it was always this way, but I don’t think so.  

In our time, nothing seems to be considered too low to say or do in pursuit of “winning”.  Well, maybe it was this bad in the lead-up to the Civil War.  Like Charles Sumner being beaten unconscious with a cane on the floor of the Senate - by another Senator!.  Is that where we’re heading?  If so, I am glad I won’t be in America to see it.

Unless the purveyors of invective get back on their meds, I am honestly afraid that the result will be political violence.  And then where will we be?  Who will be better off?  

When there are political figures and Members of Congress who openly encourage harassment of opponents, and announce an end to civil discourse and debate, what other possible outcome is there? 

As Dorothy observed in The Wizard of Oz, “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”

Or is it just me?

Monday, July 2, 2018

Political History Statement


I am 66 years old.  In sequential order, I have lived in New York City and its  suburbs, the U.S. Virgin Islands, upstate NY, Virginia, Massachusetts and Maryland.  I have lived in Israel since 2013.

I attended Colgate University in Hamilton, NY.  I originally wanted to study Religion, Philosophy, and History, but ultimately studied Biology.  I studied botany, ornithology, herpetology, entomology, ecology, genetics, and chemistry.  I marched against the Viet Nam war, and I visited the Black Panthers in New York City.  

I worked for three years in the Botany Dept. at the Smithsonian Institution. I completed my Master’s at William and Mary, in Virginia. My Master’s thesis is on Bald Eagle Nest Site Selection and Foraging Behavior.  I sought work in wildlife biology but never found it, except for a brief stint one summer working with Peregrine Falcons.

Most of my professional career has been in data processing, first in the private sector, then in the Federal government at the Social Security Administration.  I also had a parallel career as a Licensed Massage Therapist for 20 years.  I am married, all three of my children are married, and I have six grand-children.  

My “Ethnicity Estimate” from Ancestry.com is: 87% European Jewish, 5% Southern Europe, 2% Caucasus, 2% Middle East, 1% Scotland/Ireland/Wales, <1% Eastern Europe, <1% Scandinavia, 1% East Asia.

My voting record in Presidential elections is as follows:
1972 - McGovern
1976 - Ford
1980- Carter
1984 - Mondale
1988 - Dukakis
1992 - Clinton
1996 - Clinton
2000 - Bush
2004 - Bush
2008 - McCain
2012 - Romney
2016 - write-in: Pence/Weld

One can see the overall trend from liberal to conservative in my voting record.  I had high hopes for Clinton, but in the end, I felt I needed to shower every time I saw his face.  That was the end of the Democrats for me.

In the last election, I certainly wasn’t going to vote for Clinton, but couldn’t bring myself to vote for Trump.  My personal preferences in the Republican field of candidates would have been Kasich or Rubio.  So I wrote-in Pence for President and William Weld (the Libertarian VP candidate) for VP.

I know that a lot of people passionately hate Donald Trump, to the extent that family members won’t talk to each other.  To the point of violence, and character assassination.  To the point of throwing people out of restaurants.

There are many things that bother me about President Trump.  He is inarticulate.  He is unable to express himself except in the simplest words.  He isn’t slick; he’s as blunt as a spoon. He relies on Twitter, of all things, to express opinions, to berate and deride his opponents.  He shoots from the hip too often.  His hair is stupid.  He always has this smug expression on his face, that reminds me of Mussolini.  I’ll bet that he talks with his mouth full, burps at the table, and farts in public.

I had a short but interesting conversation with an Aunt of mine, who had just turned 90.  I called to wish her happy birthday.  Then she started in about how I must be happy with Trump.  I indicated to her that he is great for Israel, compared to Obama.  She grudgingly acknowledged that, while at the same time saying he is ruining America, he is separating children and parents at the border, and that  “Obama was a gentleman”.

I hadn’t called to get into a pointless political discussion.  I just wanted to tell my Aunt that I loved her.  So that’s what I did, and we parted with affection.  What I thought of saying to her was “Neville Chamberlain was a gentleman, too”. 

Does anyone reading this know who Neville Chamberlain was?  The state of education is such that I’d be happy if 50% know anything about the Prime Minister of Great Britain who appeased Hitler rather than opposing him.  He was gentleman enough to resign once the spot-on predictions of the decidedly un-gentlemanly Winston Churchill came to pass.  But he wasn’t gentleman enough not to continue to undercut Churchill’s efforts to fight Germany, rather than capitulate.  So much for “gentlemen”.  I suppose Trump would call Chamberlain a “loser”.

My goal is not to compare Churchill to Trump.  My point is that someone who is slick and smooth, articulate, well educated, intelligent, and able to soothe you with sweet words and utopian views of “peace in our time” is not necessarily worth listening to.  The snake in the Garden of Eden was also a smooth talker, and possibly even a gentleman.  My take on Obama is that he looks fair, and feels foul.

When I attempt to look objectively at what President Trump is actually doing, I find it hard to find much that I would disagree with.  He is playing hardball with the tyrants of the world. He is making it possible to do business, find a job and make a living in America.  He is defending American industry from unbalanced foreign trade.  He is attacking violent gangs.  He is not following the European model (and the Obama model) of hating your own history, and committing cultural suicide in order to do penance.  He is showing up the UN for the fraud that it is.  Fix what’s wrong, but keep what’s strong.

Americans as a whole do not know how their own government works.  No one learns civics or history anymore.  It is up to the Congress to pass laws.  It is up to the President to enforce laws.  If Congress passes a law, it is incumbent upon the Executive Branch to enforce that law.  That’s how it is supposed to work.  So, getting back to my Aunt’s reference to separating children of illegal immigrants from their parents at the border - this is a law passed by Congress and signed by a previous President, that every following President is supposed to enforce.  At one point even Obama enforced this.  

The purpose is to protect children from being incarcerated with adults.  Not every immigrant is a “poster” immigrant, not every parent is a “poster” parent, not every child is a “poster” child, not everyone who claims to be a parent is a parent.  Yes, the President somehow has the option not to do so, but the alternative has been “catch and release”.  Proven to be a very dangerous choice, with some disastrous, even fatal, consequences.

There is no question about the humanitarian issues involved.  But I have seen very little written about what is going on in those Latin American countries.  What is it that causes people to choose such a life-threatening option; to trek thousands of miles, to a country they’ve never seen, for a life that may be an illusion, and the real possibility of death along the way and deportation upon arrival?  

Why aren’t those countries held responsible for this humanitarian disaster they have created?  Why aren’t they working for the betterment of their own people?  What is the so-called United Nations doing about it?  Who is holding these governments responsible?  Why are there no consequences for these regimes?  

Better yet, why isn’t this being debated by the so-called UN Commission on Human Rights?  Refugees are pouring out of Syria as well.  Now that Jordan has closed it’s doors, they are running - of all places - to Israel.  Currently 60,000 are reported on their way to the hated Zionist Entity.  Thousands of Syrian wounded have already been treated in Israeli hospitals.   After recovery, they are returned to Syria.  What is the UNHRC doing about this exodus and the situation that is causing it?  Isn’t it the responsibility of the UN to provide safe haven for refugees?  Will refugees from Syrian, Iranian, ISIS, and Russian atrocities become eternal refugees for generations?  Will they have the “right of return”?  Or will they be assimilated into neighboring countries? 

Aside from Syria and Jordan, there are 20 other Arab states.  There are a total of 50 Muslim-majority states.  How many refugees are they taking in?  How many are they treating in hospitals?  Why should they be Israel’s responsibility, why should they be Europe’s responsibility, and why should it be America’s responsibility to allow unrestricted and illegal immigration from Latin American tyrannies?  Why aren’t Latin American countries coming to the rescue?  What has Mexico done for anyone lately?

One of Trump’s advantages is that he really doesn’t care what you think of him.  He just wants results.  And he knows how to play to his opponents’ - and even his erstwhile supporters’ - personal interests.  He is a Capitalist.  He knows that ultimately Congress acts when it is in their self-interest to do so.  He wants immigration reform.  Congress has failed to do so since the Bush years.  So he simply enforces the law in order to cause a hue and cry from both sides of the aisle.  Everyone is ticked off because “how will this play out on election day?”.

Say what you want, but he is a genius.  The cards are still on the table, and no one has cashed in their chips yet, but North Korea comes to a summit, Iran is coming apart at the seams with domestic unrest, and, miracle of miracles, Congress is finally talking immigration reform.  Jerusalem is now recognized as the Capital of Israel, the PA is becoming recognized as a sham, even Hamas is occasionally being criticized, and Prince William makes the first official trip to Israel by a member of the British Royal family.  Not bad for just two years in.  

The opposite of hate is not love.  The opposite of hate is sanity.  Hate is, essentially, a form of insanity.  If you find yourself full of hate, you should realize that you are, at best, temporarily insane.  So these people running around foaming at the mouth with hate for Trump are no better than Palestinians screaming “Death to America, Death to Israel” (or even “Death to Palestine” as we have recently heard in Iran, which shouldn’t warm my heart, but it does.  I am working on myself.)  Why death? Why hate? Is that the best alternative you have to offer?

No one knows what rules Trump is playing by, and that is his brilliance.  He catches everyone by surprise, and keeps everyone off balance.  But the results seem to speak for themselves.   It simply doesn’t matter what I think of him.  And he doesn’t care what I think of him, anyway.  If he needs to bypass the mainstream media and make news by Twitter, then so be it.  Let the media change itself in response.  It’s a free market place, and you have to change to compete.

This is the stuff that swirls through my mind at 3 AM after I wake up from some weird dream or, as happens more and more frequently, my bladder and I float to the bathroom.

So I ask you, is it just me?




Tuesday, February 13, 2018

What Matters the Most

בס׳ד
Remembering is a large part of what it means to be a Jew.

There’s nothing very novel about this statement.  This is not something that I just realized or became aware of.  But lately it has become very clear to me just how much time, energy, and expense so many of us put into memorializing loved ones and friends who are no longer with us.  

This is especially true when it comes to tragic losses.  Tragedies occur everywhere, but certainly, here in Israel, we have more than our share of tragic loss.

Just this month, I have seen announcements and reminders for memorial events - azkarot in Hebrew - for young people lost through accidents, terror attacks, and acts of heroism.  People organize and attend to these gatherings year after year.  

I receive facebook posts, emails, essays that memorialize and extol loved ones, and mourn their loss and the empty place that their departure has left behind, that can never again be truly filled.

Comforting is also a part of what it means to be part of a Jewish community.

The one who mourns gives each of us the opportunity to be one who comforts.  We join them in their mourning, so that they should not mourn alone.  People travel to practically anywhere in Israel to go to the shiva house of an individual or family that is mourning the loss of a loved one through terror and murder.  Complete strangers, but brethren nevertheless. I have done so myself. 

We bond together through our common suffering, and consolation.  We also bond with each other through our celebrations of life in births, marriages, and our various rites of passage.

My father, A”H, used to go out of his way to attend every simcha he could.  And I mean “out of his way”.  For 10 years of his life, my parents lived in the Virgin Islands. But you could be sure if there was a simcha in New York, or Chicago, or Florida, my Dad and Mom would be there.

As for me, I remember once that there was a family simcha that I just felt it wasn’t truly necessary for me to go to.  In speaking with an acquaintance, she made the point that if, Gd forbid, it was something other than a simcha, would I think twice about not going?

So why is it that times of mourning, or remembrance, seem to be more compelling to us than times of celebration?  Why are we more likely to skip a bris milah than, Gd forbid, the shiva house of one who has lost a child?

One thing I hear a great deal, are regrets for not having taken the opportunity to spend more time with someone.  We have all too many demands on our limited time.  It’s understandable.  But it also contributes to our regret when this is no longer possible.

How can we avoid this trap?  How can we put as much emphasis on spending normal time with family and friends, as we would on accompanying them to the chupa - or, chas v’shalom, to the kever?

Here is my suggestion: estimate the number of hours you took to prepare for, travel to, attend, and return home from every event of this nature in the past year.  Then commit to spend at least that amount of time this year just being with the people to whose mourners you would travel to comfort.  Or whose simchas you would most certainly attend.

That, in my opinion, is the time that matters the most.

Or is it just me?

Monday, January 9, 2017

Bilaam's Gift

This blog started out about absurdity.

But it has also been about my own journey through the events that have occurred in Israel and the world.  And I apologize for focusing so much on politics.  The thing is, living in Israel, there is just a lot of absurdity that gets dumped on us here from the deepest cesspools of humanity.  For more on the absurd state of the world I will refer you to:
http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/you-are-the-racist-actually-not-me/?fb_action_ids=1357879870950856&fb_action_types=og.comments

I'm writing now because I think I have discovered an evolutionary advantage for absurdity.

Honestly, why should the world be absurd?  Wouldn't it make a lot more sense for the world to make sense?

I would like to argue that absurdity is a gift that is sent to us when we think we know how the world works.

I was tipped off to this by the singular event of Bilaam and his Donkey.

It's all in Parashat Balak, in Sefer BaMidbar (Numbers 22:22).

So Bilaam is on his way to curse Am Yisrael, at the behest of King Balak.  Bilaam was a kind of a Prophet amongst the Other Nations.  He would receive messages from God, and he also knew the time each day when God allowed himself to be angry at the Jewish People.  So he pretty much knew it all, or so he thought.

So he is traveling with his donkey, in order to do exactly what God told him not to do, but then gave him permission to do, with the qualification that he could only say what God would allow him to say. If I were Bilaam, I would have given up right there.  But the money was good, and a man has to make a living!

So Bilaam has it all together.  Life is good.  He's on his way to curse Am Yisrael, and make a good buck to boot.

And just as he's getting into the acceleration lane, his donkey stops.  Dead halt.  Nearly causes a 20 car collision.  He tries to go to the right.  No luck.  To the left.  Nothing doing. Cranks it into four wheel drive.  The transmission falls out.

So he comes to the only reasonable conclusion, it must be the stupid donkey!  So he does what any red-blooded American boy would do, he starts to beat the donkey!  When in doubt, bang it real hard!

You see, Bilaam thought the world is supposed to work the way he thinks it's supposed to work.  If the donkey won't move it's because the donkey is lazy.  This is what he has always done, it's always worked before, and this is how it should work now.  No dice.  So here's the kicker (no pun intended). Now the donkey starts to TALK to him!  "Haven't I been a good donkey all your life?  Have I ever done anything like this before?"

This is the moment that he receives the gift of absurdity.  This is when it finally hits Bilaam that his perception of the world was lacking.  Finally, his preconceived notions shattered, he is able to see what was in front of his nose all the time. What even his donkey could see!  That an Angel of God was standing in his way with sword upraised!  If he doesn't stop, he's a dead man.  Absurdity just saved his life.

Sometimes, it takes absurdity to wake us up out of our life of perpetual sleep-walking.  It's comfortable.  It's easy.  It works.  It gets us through the day.  But, as the saying goes, "if you keep on doing what you're doing, you'll keep on getting what you're getting."  That's when we are sent something absurd. Something that just doesn't make sense, and forces us to stop and think.  "If this doesn't make sense in any way I can understand, then I need to rethink my assumptions."

There are innumerable ways in which this can occur.  To me the classic structure of this revelation is as follows: Something occurs in your life that just makes no sense at all. Think of that as the donkey. But, what is happening has nothing to do with the donkey, or your relationship to the donkey.  This has to do with your relationship to the Creator. This is what He had to do because you haven't been paying attention.

This is your moment of absurdity.  This is the time to stop and think.  "So, I can deal with this the way I have always dealt with things (e.g beat the donkey), or I can open my eyes to the possibility that what is happening has nothing to do with the actual situation.  But it has everything to do with a lesson I need to learn.  With a reality which I have ignored.  In the greater picture, what has been essentially wrong with my whole perspective?  God is rebuking me, but for what?"

In my opinion, the absurd could possibly be as effective an evolutionary tool as ice ages, predators, and the plague.  If you can't break out of your preconceived notions, you could be putting your survival in peril. We had better be able to see and acknowledge that which is contrary to our established reality. This goes for our spiritual/emotional survival as well as our physical survival.

Absurdity. To break out of the chain link fence that we have built around ourselves, and through which we view and understand the world, sometimes we need a helping hand with a sharp pair of bolt cutters. Or maybe a baseball bat, a brick, or even a talking donkey?

Or is it just me?

Monday, November 14, 2016

Post Election Blues

I seem to have offended a great many people, some of them close relatives, by not getting on the anti-Trump band wagon.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  I thought that "blood is thicker than water".  But yet another of my illusions has been shattered.  And "am I blue".

In my view, most votes in this past election were against one or the other candidate.  They were both terrible.

I think the protests in the street are exactly what the media predicted the volatile and subhuman Trump supporters would do when they inevitably lost.  I fully expected Clinton to win by a substantial margin.  I'm as surprised as anyone else.

Deep inside, I am relieved that I won't get to see a continuation of the Clinton and Obama years.  But I look with trepidation toward the Trump years.  I am relieved because, as a resident of Israel, I expect that a Trump administration will be able to tell right from wrong in the Middle East.

In America, I have been shocked by Universities where people who hold opinions that aren't left-wing have been badgered and threatened into silence; where Jewish students are not safe; where Palestinians are heroes and dead Jews deserved it; where Professors are subject to administrative censure for using the wrong personal pronouns.  By a National government that sees fit to bring suit against a State that only wants to have two bathrooms - Men and Women; a President who forces a divisive agenda through Presidential caveat rather than legislative compromise; a White House which gives incentives to our enemies, and the cold shoulder to our allies.  A country where police are always guilty and offenders always innocent.

Unfortunately, in opposing all of that, a pandora's box of ugliness has been opened on the other extreme.  A pandora's box that has nothing to do with the second amendment, or family values, or religion.  Crawling out from under that rock are not Christians (although some claim to be), and not white males (although they are undeniably counted among them).  Hate does not know left or right.

These creepy-crawlies are emerging from under the same putrid rock that produced the "safe spaces",  and the hate Israel rallies, in addition to what I mentioned above.

The Republican sweep will hopefully pull our country back toward the center.  I felt certain that this election would spell the end of the Republican Party.  And maybe it will.  But, it is the Democratic Party that is doing some deep reassessment.  If you spend your tenure in power going out of your way to offend the sensibilities of the heartland, then you have to expect this kind of reaction.  Abraham Lincoln had the ability to evaluate just how far popular support would let him go.  Nowadays, they rely on polls, which we now know are terribly flawed.

The new Republican government better keep this in mind.  And they had better rein in the crazies.  They had better display the appropriate humility.  Because only half the country voted for them.  And they won't have much time to do it.

But, the election is over.  So, I'm in favor of getting on with it.  It's going to be an interesting ride.

Or is it just me?

Sunday, October 30, 2016

In the Beginning

בס״ד


Within the vast warehouse of trivial information that I have stored in my cobwebbed attic of memories, is an old Firestone Tires advertisement: “The name that’s known is Firestone…Where The Rubber Meets the Road.”

“Where the Rubber Meets the Road.”  That’s the way I feel when we come around to Shabbat Bereishit.  

I’ve been pounding my chest since the 17th of Tammuz, all the way through the three weeks, and Tisha B’Av.  This was followed by Elul, culminating in a week of early morning slichot, Rosh HaShanah, the 10 days of Teshuva, and Yom Kippur.  Then came the simcha gauntlet.  I took my Lulav and Etrog in hand.  I ate, slept, and learned in my sukkah for a week of the most wonderful Sukkot weather in living memory, leading inevitably up to Hoshanah Rabbah and Shemini Atzeret/Simchat Torah.

And now, finally, we come to Shabbat Bereishit.  We start the reading of the Torah again, literally, from the “Beginning”.

This past Friday night, I found myself making the usual kiddush - remembering the Creation of the World, on the very day when we read that portion from the Torah once more.

“It was evening and it was morning” - we have struggled from the night of the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash. Through the flames we have cleansed ourselves and crawled up towards the light of day, and reconnection with our Creator.  

“And the Heavens and the Earth were finished”.  We have been recreated.  We are new creations.  Hopefully, in a form closer to the image of God than before.

Really?  Am I really different?  Have I identified all the flaws that I needed to discover, and have I rectified them.  Is my relationship to man and God “new and improved?”

It is odd, but I find Shabbat Bereishit more challenging than all that preceded it.  Why?  Because this is “Where the Rubber Meets the Road.”  This is where, in the words of Sam Gamgee in The Lord of the Rings, I get to “show my quality.”  Boot Camp is over.  Now it’s time to go out into the “shetach” with my new weapons and armor and see what I’m really made of.  Here comes the shakedown cruise.

It's scary.  I think I’m ready, though that’s probably an illusion. This last year was one of considerable personal struggle and growth.  And most of that coincided with and occurred, astonishingly enough, from the month of Tammuz onward.  And for that I owe a debt of gratitude to someone who shook me to my roots, and sent me spiraling into a place that forced me to finally forge a truer relationship with my Creator.  Except for “thank you for rebuking me”, that’s all I’m going to say about that.  But as my youngest child once reminded me, our tests and trials are not bumps in the road; they ARE the road.

And think about this:  We have nine months between now and the next Tammuz.  Nine months of gestation before again being forced out of the womb, out into the flaming darkness, to be melted down and reforged once more.

Avraham Avinu underwent ten trials.  Rashi and Rambam enumerate them differently.  If you combine both opinions, they add up to fourteen or fifteen.  I heard an amazing dvar Torah over the Yomim Tovim that made quite an impression.  (Of course, I don't remember who said it, or on what day, or else I would give the appropriate attribution.  If I do recall, I will update accordingly.)  

The speaker pointed out that when God rescinded his command to Avraham to offer up Yitzchak as a sacrifice, it is only then that God says "now I know that you are a God-fearing man".  There have already been nine trials.  Is it possible that only now God knows Avraham's true nature?  Hasn't he proved himself already?  The speaker's answer is astounding.  The tenth trial was really designed to see what Yitzchak would do.  If Avraham could pass on to his child his attribute of complete devotion, then Avraham must truly be completely devoted.  It took the actions of Yitzchak to ultimately prove Avraham's nature.

And so it is with us.  If we can look out upon the ripple effects - at least the ones we can observe - of our thoughts and actions, then maybe we can get an inkling of how well we're doing.

I can only hope that when the rubber meets the road, I don't leave too many skid marks.

Or is it just me?